Thursday, November 22, 2012

Exposing the Top Marriage Myths

Prior to getting married we had many misconceptions about marriage. Some of our misconceptions were images we had conjured up, some were a result of media, and others had been handed down from past generations.

A myth is defined as any invented story, idea, or concept. So a marriage myth would be any invented story, idea, or concept about marriage.

Listen, God's desire is that you know and live by the truth. He doesn't want you living by made up stories, concepts, or ideas no matter how good they sound on the surface.

So let's dig deep under the surface and get to the truth!

Marriage Myth #1: The husband is the boss of the wife.

Fact: The husband is not the boss but he is the spiritual head. As the spiritual head the husband has many huge responsibilities. For one, he has an obligation to love his wife just as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). That may sound simple, but to love as Christ loves is no easy task.The wife has the responsibility to respect her husband's authority and subject herself to him just as we the Body of Christ are subject to God (Ephesians 5:24). The relationship a boss has with an employee is not the same; It's a contractual relationship based upon performance. There is no love or respect involved just an agreement to perform.

Marriage Myth #2: My Pastor and other spiritual leaders in the church don't have marriage problems.

Fact: Okay, if you watch the news, you know this is far from the truth. Your Pastor and other church leaders are just as human as you. Yes, they have different positions in the Body of Christ but that doesn't mean they're exempt from the issues of life. In fact, some church leaders have more marital problems because they find it difficult balancing ministry responsibilities and family life. So pray for your leaders as the Bible instructs us to do.

Marriage Myth #3: Married people have less satisfying sex lives, and less sex than single people.

Fact: To say that all married people have less satisfying sex is not a fair statement. In fact, a recent national study revealed that over all, married couples are having more satisfying sex more often.Wheew!That's a relief! ;-) But the frequency in which couples have sex varies from couple to couple and depends greatly on the health of the relationship.

Even still, there's another way to look at this; single Christians should be practicing celibacy, right?

So, if we assume Christian singles are celibate, then married couples would be the ones having more sex. Didn't see that one coming did ya?

Marriage Myth #4: All you need is love to make your marriage work.

Fact: In the 1960's the Beatles wrote a song called "All You Need Is Love". But then Tina Turner came back in the 90's with a song called "What's Love Got to Do With It?" Well, both the Beatles and Tina Turner were wrong. You see, love has everything to do with it, but you'll need a lot more than just love to make your marriage work.

Believe us, there are many married couples who love each other but struggle to keep their marriages afloat because they lack other ingredients. While love is the foundation of a Christian marriage, you will need other tools like trust, communication, forgiveness, prayer, prayer, and did we say prayer?

Marriage Myth #5: It's Biblically wrong to marry outside of your race.

Fact: In the Old Testament God specifically warns the Israelites not to allow their sons to marry foreign women. But why? If you read Deuteronomy 7:4 you will find God clearly explains His concern. God was concerned that the foreign woman would lead the Israelites away from Him and into worshiping other gods instead.So, the truth is this; God doesn't care what color your mate is, or about their ethnic background. He only cares that they worship and serve Him.

Marriage Myth #6: Every marriage will endure the dreaded "seven year itch."

Fact: There is no such thing as a "seven year itch". However, when a married couple fails to resolve existing issues those unresolved issues can build up over time and eventually explode. This emotional melt down can take the form of what many people call a "seven year itch". But this is not the norm.

In fact, the earlier years of our marriage were the most toxic. The seventh year was when God began to completely transform us as individuals and as a married couple. So don't anticipate or expect a "seven year itch". Always expect God's best!

Marriage Myth #7 It's just not possible for a man to remain monogamous. "A man will be a man."

Unfortunately many women have been telling themselves this lie for centuries in order to cope with the indiscretions of their husbands.

Monogamy is not impossible, but it is a choice. Remember with God nothing is impossible.

Keeping your flesh under control requires a commitment to the word of God, prayer time, and surrounding yourself with like minded people.

Marriage Myth #8: Opposites attract.

Fact: Believe it or not, this one is actually true. Because we all possess different gifts, strengths, and weaknesses; it is likely you will be attracted to someone who is strong in the areas you are weak, and gifted in ways you are not. This is actually great for marriage because it creates the ultimate learning environment. Learning environment?

Are we talking about marriage or school? Actually, being married is a lot like being in school. You are constantly learning and being tested on what you learned. If you and your mate were identical, not only would it quickly become boring, but there wouldn't be much the two of you could learn from one another. Marriage partners are not just life partners, they are life teachers.

Marriage Myth #9: Having children brings couples closer together.

Fact: A baby is not the solution when you are having marital problems. In fact, it is a known fact that having children often times temporarily pulls couples further apart. Changes in our lives are stressful whether they are good changes or bad. The addition of a baby into your relationship will be an enormous adjustment for your entire family that can intensify existing problems.

Such a change can also bring new issues to the surface. If you are planning a pregnancy as a way of bringing you and your spouse closer, please reconsider. Resolve to first uncover the reason behind your unhappiness in your relationship.

Marriage Myth #10: Wives who claim to have PMS certain times of the month are just using that as an excuse to be cranky with their husbands.

Fact: Okay husbands, PMS is not an invention of woman. PMS which stands for Premenstrual Syndrome is a very real syndrome that affects 20 to 90 percent of woman.

The symptoms and severity of the symptoms will vary from woman to woman but may include headaches, body aches, bloating, moodiness, fatigue, depression, and irritability.

If symptoms are severe, medical intervention may be necessary. If your wife suffers with PMS be supportive and talk with her about it. This one is not invented, it's real.


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