Monday, June 30, 2014

Marriage Blues: Is Your Partner Cheating on You?

Cheating is fast becoming a norm in marriage. many women endure it, some women dabble in it and there is the general belief that all men revel in it like it is a soiree to celebrate their latest promotion. I have always wondered why married people cheat on each other.

Why  go through the trouble of planning a wedding (which is no child's play), and  walking down the aisle to take vows, just so you can turn around and cheat on your spouse? It makes no sense. Having had my fair share of married men approaching me and telling me strange things that make me look up to God and ask "Where is my husband?", the issue of cheating in marriage is one that I am familiar with and I pray not to experience.

I once asked a married man that was pursuing me with all his energy "Don't you love your wife anymore?" I expected him to feed me the married man line and say "No. I fell out of love" but instead his response was "Yes I love her a lot." I was taken aback. Again, in my heart, I asked God, "Does my mr right need a GPS? If I had my own man, will I be receiving these indirectly insulting offers?"

Someone once asked me..."I have a feeling my husband is cheating but I just can't say for sure." How do you know if your partner is cheating? The number one sign is change! Change in his or her behaviour- it might be for the better or the worse (the latter is usually the case if it's the man cheating). Men are wired the same way; when they have a new tool, the old one suddenly becomes unattractive. The latest models are preferred to the ancient ones- they treat women the same way.

On the other hand, women who cheat become more loving towards their husbands. To them, it is like having two children and they try to prove as much as they can that they love both children equally. Other common signs include deleting phone logs, text messages, constantly receiving calls in secluded areas and sometimes exhibiting signs of a midlife crisis.

What can you do? Spice up your relationship! One man told me he cheated, not because he didn't love his wife but because she was always unwilling to engage in anything fun and interesting. All she wanted to do was stay home, cook and clean. He said "I didn't marry her to be my maid!" Stop acting like the economic recession of the world is your fault. Have fun with your spouse!

Remember silence is golden sometimes. When you are wrong, apologise; when you are right, keep your mouth shut. Marriage is not a contest to prove who's smarter or more intelligent. Little things push spouses to cheat including lack of attention. Many people have better relationships with their jobs than they do with their spouse. If you are one of them, that's not right! Be empathetic in your marriage! Your spouse is a person with feelings that often get hurt when you act like he or she doesn't exist.

Finally, pray! You can't spend your lifetime chasing men and women away from your partner; instead of mopping the floor, close the tap! Pray to God to heal your marriage if it's broken and to mend any cracks that may cause it to break.

Do share your thoughts. XOXO

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