Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Tired Of The Monotony? Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship

I was on a dinner table with a couple of friends and acquaintances, clearing what was left of an overpriced plate of wings and fries when our conversation took a turn from politics to relationships. We were commenting on celebrity marriages, Jay-Z and BeyoncĂ© in particular. There have been rumours of infidelity in their relationship. Of course everyone on the table wanted their voices to be heard and it wasn't long before we got  divided on gender basis. For the life of me, I can’t wrap my head around infidelity more so when you are married to a very attractive and smart individual(well, that’s how far those looking from outside can see). Someone on the table had a rather bizarre representation of why a man might cheat on his lady that I found both condescending and very myopic. According to him, no one should be subjected to eating the same meal every day.

Someone with that line of thought most definitely needs Jesus. How does one even start to explain “thou shalt not commit adultery” It is hard not to judge others atimes seeing as we all also aren't perfect.

I understood what he meant though, I just understand it differently; relationships might become monotonous atimes and one needs to spice things up a little bit from time to time.Baring this in mind,  below are a few suggestions that can work:

Take time away from eachother. This doesn't mean you should sleep in separate bedrooms or take long vacations away from eachother. It just means for you to have individual time. This is somewhat tricky for women especially when you have kids but you can take turns looking after the kids or better still get someone to help.  Remember when you were still dating and had to wait a day or two to see your significant other, there were always interesting things lined up for whenever you see yourselves and there would have been enough space  thereby creating longing in both hearts. This can be imbibed into marriages, let your husband have his guys hangout, do something fun with the girls, you will probably have lots to talk about when you come back home.  Spending some time apart will help you to treasure the time spent with your partner more.

Don’t be too rigid in your ways. Eat out sometimes. Try somewhere new every other time. Food makes for good conversation starters. Relive the times when you were dating.

Don’t get too comfortable. Most men are taken by what they see and most women are quick to forget that. Being a woman is a lot but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Wearing the same pair of pajamas or nighties might be boring, buy that beautiful lingerie and wear it for your husband. Let him have homely and naughty images of you in his head. husbands send your wives texts to compliment their looks . Send flowers to her workplace for the love of flowers.You both need to be hands on to keep your love fresh.

Your partner should also be your best friend so that in the absence of passion, there is something else that makes you still want to be with him/her. Nothing can take the place of great conversations, be sure to find this bond with your partner.For days when you are both indoors,play board games, you can even do this with the kids. Your lives don't have to become a routine,work-home-church,Find time for yourselves in between.

Lastly, let God be the inspiration for your love. I remember a friend once told me that he loves God too much to want to cheat on his wife.No matter what phase you are passing through, stay true to God and yourselves. Always remember we answer to Him first.

I am not saying there won’t be off days but even in those days, you’d know you have a good thing going on and messing it up shouldn’t be on your agenda.

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