Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Are You The Un-Approachable Husband?

The more I read about marriage these days, the more worried and terrified I get. There are so many negative stories about marriage that I can't help but wonder what happened to the beautiful idea of marriage I had as a child, and even as a teenager. There are so many reasons marriages crash and burn, but I recently stumbled upon a new reason that I never knew existed- the unapproachable husband.

This is a concept that makes me wonder about the dynamics of a relationship/courtship prior to marriage. How do women end up with unapproachable husbands? What are the warning signs? And of course, the big question is who on earth are these men who believe the 'unapproachable club' is an elite club?

The unapproachable husband is the one who rules his home by using fear as an instrument in place of love. The unapproachable husband is the 'know-it-all' of the home, He doesn't listen to any other opinion, doesn't ask for it, and if you choose to offer it by force, you are simply poking the bear- something the unapproachable husband does not handle too well. The wife of the unapproachable husband is afraid of him, she has no rights in her home, and her opinion counts for nothing. She spends every minute of every day tending to her husband's ego and ensuring it suffers no bruising. The concept that marriage is a partnership is lost to her; she doesn't understand it because she has never experienced it. She dedicates many hours to fasting and prayers before she asks her husband a question or even offers her opinion on a subject that affects the whole family.

There are many young men today aspiring to join the unapproachable club. These are young men who believe they have achieved enough in their lifetime to terrorize and inflict pain on anyone they believe is beneath them. They are young men who believe women should be seen, and not heard. They want women who lack a sense of direction or purpose. they do not respond well when challenged, nor do they ever want to be caught unawares by a show of strength from an unexpected source.

If you belong to, or intend to join the unapproachable husbands club, rethink your stance. Marriage is not a dictatorship; it is a partnership. Marriage is not your high school reunion where you want to prove you've done better than everyone else; it is an institution that was designed to lack pride, arrogance and conceit...deliberately. You may the alpha male, but you don't need to prowl or hover around your wife and children like a wild animal circling its prey. Marriage is about being happy and keeping your partner happy. Being unapproachable is definitely not part of the package!


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