Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Set Your Own Pace In Your Relationship

There are set societal standards we are expected to follow when we go into relationships.  There are stages we are expected to follow, and in some cases, these stages are attached to certain time limits.

Recently,  I've been observing and reading stories of couples on wedding blogs. When I read some stories where the grooms said they fell in love at first sight,  or knew they would marry their bride after three dates, I wrinkled my nose, laughed out loud and ended my derision with 'yeah right'. However when I took some time to think about the pace in relationships,  I couldn't help but admit that there should not be any set durations for relationships. 

Some couples meet and know from the first day that they are meant to be. For some couples,  it may take months, while others may take years. I asked myself what determines the pace of a relationship? Is it the number of dates,  the amount of fun activities done together? Or the amount if time spent spwaking to each other? I came to the conclusion that the relationship pace is set by what couples talk about.  So many couples spend a lot of time together, but don't have quality conversations.  Of course society looks at such couples and decides after a few years that they are ready to embark on a marital journey. Few years down the line, the cracks begin to show and people wonder what went wrong.  On the other hand,  some couples date for a few months before marriage, and go on to have the best marriages ever.

I have come to the conclusion that couples should set their own pace, and not necessarily attempt to follow the standards set by society.  After all,  it's not about how long the relationship is, but how well a couple connects.

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