Monday, April 11, 2016

What's All the Fuss About the First Date Anyway?

I have always been of the opinion that the first date is the most important date you'll ever have with anyone. It can be a deal-breaker, or a bridge-builder. But it appears many people do not see the importance of  a first date, or some people are just too caught up in their schemes to care about how significant this date is. 

The first date is where you get to know the other person outside of work, school, church, or wherever it is that you met them. It is your opportunity to either make a good impression or a terrible one (believe it or not, you will make some sort of impression on the first date). The first date is where your etiquette needs to be on point... like 110% on point. The first date is not where you belch loudly at the table or fart continuously in a bid to show a person how real you are. Yeah, it sounds all cute, but it is also too personal for a first date, and definitely not endearing. No, no , no. 

Here are few things you should and should not do on a first date

#1 Don't go with your friends: Except it is a double date, which a first date shouldn't be, you have absolutely no reason to take your friends with you. No, that is not the kind of support you need. I have heard of women who go to their dates with their friends in  a bid to understand the depth of the man's wallet. This is an absolute NO NO. Will buying you and your girlfriends lunch tell you how deep his pockets are? This mentality is very myopic, and is characteristic of women who are simply out to 'chop and run'. No wonder they fall into the hands of the men who want to 'chop and clean mouth'. 

#2 Don't go with the mentality of 'hitting it': If the only reason you are going on the date is to see if you'll end up in bed together, you might as well hire a prostitute for the evening and get your groove on. From conversations, I know most men are only willing to go on a date if they know sex is on the table. If that is all you are focused on, forget the date, forget about getting to know the person. Dates are not for scoring to massage your ego. The first date goes  a lot deeper that. 

#3 Don't show up unkempt, or improperly dressed: Unshaven face, unclean hair, soiled clothes, crumpled shirts? Leave all that behind. Be well-dressed as suited to the venue of your date. No sweaty clothes, no funny odors, no saggy pants, no masquerade-like makeup. No. Please keep it simple and classy. Afterall, you are meeting this person for the very first time. 

#4 'Up' the conversation skills: A first date, or any date at all is not about you pretending to be an ice block while the other person works hard to thaw you. No. A first date is where you should let the conversation flow so you can learn as much as you can about the other person. This does not mean you should talk nonstop and only keep quiet when you stop for air. Ask questions, let the conversation be an exchange, rather than a narration

#5 Keep your etiquette in check: You've asked a lady out on  a date? pick up the bill! Arrive on time. Speak politely. Smile, pay compliments, you can show up with  a bouquet of flowers, or some chocolates... something to say you have been thinking of the date and you're excited it's happening. And oh! Don't check your phone. That's just downright rude! 

Above all, if you are the one doing the inviting, plan the date. Plan it to the T. Plan it to perfection. Create the right ambience, and you might just set the stage for an awesome person to be part of your life. 

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