Friday, August 28, 2015

Single Ladies: How To Spot The 'Married Single Man'

Women cheat almost as much as men do but more men do fine jobs of deceiving whoever they are having an affair with into thinking they are not married or in a committed relationship. Imagine the shock and heartbreak when you get that hate mail or call from a spouse labeling you as a husband snatcher. Must really hurt especially when you have been in the dark as to that particular fact.

Personally, I never get why some women with philandering husbands go after the women in their husband’s lives instead of dealing with the main problem who is the person they made the vows with. I am not saying all side chicks are saints, I am just saying some of them are victims too. I remember stumbling on a Facebook page with a familiar face only to find out the boyfriend of someone I know is married with kids.

It took me a lot to break the news to her because I knew just how much she was into him.

This post is for those that would want to arm themselves with the right tools before getting in a relationship with the wrong person.

There are always telling signs and if you look hard enough, you wouldn’t fall in the trap of the ‘single married man’.

I'l be sharing some tips on how to find out if your ‘available’ man is taken.
  • What does your instinct say? Do you have a problem with him being a good looking financially stable 40 year old man? Well, there is a need to feel uncomfortable. If he doesn’t have a solid reason for being single at that age, perhaps, your instinct is right. Something could be amiss. The ones with less qualifications are even settled. This takes us to the next few points on how to clear your doubts. 
  • Check him out on the internet: My dear, allow google be your guide. There are not too many people who don’t have their details somewhere on the internet. You might stumble on social media details, wedding pictures, marriage proposal, or anything at all. Just don’t get involved without quieting your doubts. 
  • Check for that indent finger, the one for the wedding ring. There is a big chance that finger would be marked from persistent use of the ring. This is always the most obvious one. A friend of mine with such doubts shared how she casually opened the glove compartment of the man’s car only to find his ring there. Of course he lied about it but she already knew better. 
  • Call him at very odd hours: Another friend of mine met a ‘really nice man’ recently. She observed he only calls when he is on the road, he never calls or picks when he is supposedly at home. This aroused her curiosity and made her question him. She was right. He confessed when he was confronted.
  • You should also find out where he lives.If he avoids letting you know where he lives, he might have skeletons in his closet. Be careful if he is just in town for work too.Those ones can be very convincing because people can pull off double lives more easily if they are not resident in their town of work. Chances are you still might find him out. IF he suddenly goes MIA over the weekend or skips town only to come back with no solid reason .It might be because his family came to visit or he went to visit. 
  • What is his cellphone attitude: How many cellphones does he have? Do you have all the phone numbers? Can you reach him at all times Does he pick up or does he always miss the calls, calling you back later with excuses like he was in the toilet or he left his phone in the room? Does he speak in hushed tones or call you names that ain't yours like 'Pius, is that you?' Is his phone always comfortably on silence with the screen facing down? Or does he leave where you are to answer his calls? Well, you don’t need more telling, he is either married or in a committed relationship. 
Don't be caught in a web of lies, let wisdom be your guide. Some of these signs don't necessarily mean he is married. There might be solid explanations for them but If you are in doubt as to what his status is, you could just ask him tactfully. Hopefully, he'l have the decency to tell you the truth. Just avoid being that other woman as best as you can to save yourself heartbreak and confrontations from hurt spouses.

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