Friday, January 17, 2014

Have they changed or are you just bitter?

Success is something we all yearn for. For most of us, it is the peak of life's journey- to be successful in our chosen careers, ministry, marriage and so on. But what happens when some of us involuntarily fall behind in this race for success? What happens when it seems everyone is moving at the speed of light towards this peak of life's journey and we seem to be moving at snail pace? 

What kind of thoughts do you entertain towards that friend of yours that walked down the aisle while you walked down the "single and heartbroken" lane? What kinds of thoughts cross your heart when your friend announces she is pregnant and looking forward to parenthood with her spouse while you are yet to even meet one man that is willing to spend six months of his life with you?

What kinds of thoughts cross your mind when your friend shows up in his brand new car and you are still asking people to push your jalopy ride down the road just so it can start? Does it irritate you when it seems your friend can afford everything and is not in any way considerate of your feelings?

Have your friends changed or are you entertaining bitterness and resentment? I once read a post on Facebook where a lady complained about how her friends had changed as soon as they got better jobs and new cars. I smiled at her complaint; I have been there before and I am grateful I let God annihilate the bitterness in me.

When a friend gets a better job, a bigger house, a nicer car, gets married, has children, a lifestyle change is inevitable. A better job means your friend will meet other people outside the circle you both belong to. He/she will hang out with other people, be able to afford more expensive things and will most likely enjoy life more. At that point, it is easy for you to say "Oh he has changed! Now, he only shops at designer stores and makes sure I'm there when he is doing it, just to spite me" or "Since she got married, she has been acting like she's better than me because I'm not even in a relationship. She seizes every opportunity to tell me how wonderful marriage is."


It is human nature that we would expect people to be apologetic when they make it and we haven't. Unfortunately, it is also human nature to feel unapologetic and flaunt what God has blessed us with. I mean, if i have a new car, I can't exactly hide it. If I start to earn more money, I will start to buy more expensive things. As a friend, you need to objectively examine what is going on. If your friend gets married and barely has enough time to hang out with you like she used to, don't feel bad! Don't think she has changed. She might be dealing with things you don't know about. Instead of entertaining bitterness, rather appreciate God's power in the life of your friend and pray that he opens doors for you too. I realised recently that being grateful to God for the blessings in the lives of others is a form of thanksgiving that moves mountains out of your way. When you entertain bitterness however, it makes you a whiner. You complain about everything! when you see that successful friend, instead of praying to God to straighten your crooked path, you're busy wishing something terrible would happen so you can say "I am not surprised. Her attitude caused bad things to happen to her". the question you need to ask yourself is "Is it worth it?" 

There is no doubt some people change when they acquire a new status or more wealth but before you jump to that conclusion, examine your heart! and even if they have changed, don't entertain bitterness against them. God created us all, knows us all and he is working out a way for you too! don't let bitterness blind you from the path to your success! To that friend that barely has time for you,. send a text message to check how he/she is doing every now and then. To that friend that loves to throw money around in your presence, smile and advice if you can, against reckless spending. To that friend with a new car, rejoice and laugh as you take a ride together. Your bitterness will only affect you. like Maya Angelou said, "bitterness is like cancer, it eats upon the host". 

Choose joy, appreciation, thanksgiving and prayers over bitterness. God is at work and he never fails!!! 


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