Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Case Of The Unseen Wife And The Discreet Husband

There are times I find myself caught in a dilemma when my opinion is sought because the truth sometimes seem too harsh to tell. Times like that I just listen and learn and hope my listening ears will be as consoling as the soothing words (I should have said). I found myself in one of such situations recently. Someone complained to me that  she feels like the unseen wife of her husband.

The average woman is a romantic and her happiness is rooted in the knowledge that her man is proud of her among other things.  Mental admiration is as desirable as physical admiration; we like to be showed off and for our praises to be sung by the one that has chosen us and the one we have chosen. Nothing gladdens a woman’s heart like knowing her chief cheerleader is her man. If one asks the average girl on the street to paint a picture of the kind of relationship she desires, one will get lots of fairy tale like pictures but reality is so far from this.

There are no two relationships alike but there are situations that might look the same. One would want to know the height of discreetness in a relationship and also whether it is alright for one’s man to be discreet about one’s relationship especially marriage. See, I find this topic interesting because I am one of the protagonists of discreet relationships. Nobody wants to know ‘your boo’ made dinner*eyes rolling*. I remember how surprised some people I know were when I told them I was getting married, most didn’t even know I was in a relationship(that’s gist for another day).

 On another note, I think it has lots of disadvantages; many things could go wrong in the name of being discreet. One can only speak for oneself. God forbid bad things happen to his own but much as I don’t like echoing what others say about cheating being in a man’s DNA , one also has to be careful. We are in the days when even married men are desirable for the loads of single women out there (We bind the spirit of Jezebels. :) ). Who is to stand on a rooftop and shout that he has been showered blessings if not a man in love? God forbid the day my husband will say ‘hey babe, I can’t use you as my dp anymore’

Being the champion of women’s causes, no man should be allowed to be discreet about their relationships, it is too comfortable. Women can be though, we are the ever faithful half (don’t take me up on this one). Seriously now, I would like to state that discreetness can be mistaken and one’s partner might think one is not proud of him/her. There is also the case of unfaithfulness. I wouldn’t erase the fact that some people are very private about the things that go on in their lives and wouldn’t want their business being out there.

We all have interesting reasons for doing the things we do but whatever it is we do, we must do them for the right reasons. Also, we should keep our minds out of the gutters. Never imagine the worst in situations. As couples, we should always talk about things we love and vice versa. We need to always be open-minded about things; relationships need to be worked on constantly.

Understand your partner.

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