Thursday, January 9, 2014

It's a date... Is sex on the table?

Sex sells; we are all aware of that. These days, manufacturing companies can't advertise a product without having a sexy lady doing something that has absoluttely nothing to do with the product. It could be a TV advert for a spanner and there would be a half-naked lady sitting somewhere in the desert in a a bikini and fanning herself as beads of pespiration give her a sensual glow, only for her to reach for a spanner somewhere in the desert sand.... Enough said, we know sex sells but should it be for sale?

The youth mentality today is troubling; while young women are of the opinion that stingy men are a plague that should be avoided completely ( I agree by the way), young men are of the opinion that they can't spend a dime on a woman unless they have the assurance that they will get to hit it at the end of the date. If sex is not on the table, lady pay for your own movie ticket. How sad?!

These days, when most young men look at a woman, whether she is fully clad in the most baggy clothes one can imagine or in a bikini, they see one thing....a fellow negotiator and the currencies are fun and sex. Most times, when a young man approaches a lady for a date, he is actually saying "Let's negotiate; I will take you out to dinner and  a movie and you will give me an awesome sex-ercise session at the end of the evening."

Have we reduced sex to something that anyone can get by paying for it? Is that what going on a date is all about? Dating someone should not be about sex! I can sense many teenagers will read this and roll their eyes but believe me, it is not! If you are taking a lady out on  a date simply because you hope to 'hit it' at the end of the date, then you need to re-examine your way of thinking. If you think a movie, dinner and maybe a walk is all down payment for your enjoyment, later, then you should not be dating. you should be picking sluts by the roadside. 

Dating is about getting to know a person, getting to know their peeves, their likes, their values, what they stand for and what they believe in. It is not an avenue to just 'shag' your way through your entire street or class. Many people take sex lightly, like it's nothing important except a merging of two willing bodies. it is more than that! sex is a connection of souls and how best to lose the ability of your soul to connect than to have sex with a thousand and one people before you find the one (relate this to loss of elasticity in physics).

A lot of men become ballistic when a lady refuses to give it up on the first date; some return home and think of more charming plans to get their way while others just give up as they have no patience for 'long term investments'. Eventually, many men get what they want, they leave and move on to the next quest but my question is what exactly have they gained?

A woman should not be seen as a sex object that you can pay for at a porn store, and the same goes for women that'pay' for sex too. We should learn to value each other and understand that sex is not a negotiating tool. 


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