Friday, July 25, 2014

Dating Down is a Crime!!!

Many women are in a race against time and simultaneously in competition with their friends, colleagues, neighbours and even other people that are oblivious to their existence. In order to attain the 'Mrs' tag, women reach a point of desperation where they believe anyone is better than no one. It doesn't matter what anyone does, or what his aspirations or lack thereof are, no one is no-no, so anyone will do.

The concept of dating down to most people immediately ignites discussions about financial wealth and many are quick to point out that dating a rich man will not necessarily result in happiness. He might be abusive, a cheater...etc. I agree; however I believe many people have misconstrued views of what dating down is about.

If you are working on your MSc degree in Microbiology, and your man is doing his Honours degree in Information Technology, you are not dating down. Dating down has nothing to do with a competition of degrees and qualifications. It however has a lot to do with dreams and aspirations, drive and the will to succeed.

I have often met women who are too scared to dream too big, because the men in their lives will consider them to be too arrogant, too self-involved or simply too intelligent. Interesting! It is amazing how many women date men that can't keep jobs, while they go on to pursue CEO positions, yet they expect that this man, who sits at home all day, playing video games would be secure in himself? Perhaps such men exist, but you will agree that they are rare. STOP dating down!

A relationship should be made of two whole individuals who can make equal contributions to its success - emotionally, financially, spiritually and physically. Don't let your haste to get married lead you into a trap! Forever is a long time to deal with a person that has no drive, no future ambitions and no aspirations whatsoever. Dating down is the best and quickest recipe to abuse in relationships.

Many men, though they pretend to be secure in themselves are often intimidated by the success of their wives, if they are not successful in their own rights too. This will often lead to derogatory insults and sometimes physical abuse, in a bid to prove that they are still the head of the family, or relationship as it may be. If you have spent a long time waiting for the one, isn't it better you wait patiently than end up with a monster after your lengthy waiting period? Marriage is not an achievement you need to tick within a certain period of your life so as not to be regarded a failure.

Don't commit the crime of dating down against yourself. Go for a man that pushes you to be better, that supports you just as much as you support him, and prays for you when the walls seem to be closing in. Go for a man that contributes financially (by contribute, I do not mean you should leave the financial burden to him alone to bear, that's selfish), go for a man that is in love with God just as much as you, intellectually well grounded just as much as you and can complement you in every way.


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