Monday, July 7, 2014

The Importance of Trust In A Relationship And How To Build Trust

One of the most important ingredients to having an almost perfect marriage is trust. The ability to be able to vouch for your spouse without flinching that they did or didn’t do a particular thing is one feature a marriage or relationship should be able to boast of (well, in order to last). 

From experience and observation, I can say as a matter of fact that nothing tops a good sense of security in a marriage or relationship(as the case might be). I can list all the advantages that having a secured relationship has but time wouldn’t let me.

Being able to trust one’s partner however exists more on paper and in words for most people than in actions. This is so because of the society we are in. Demi wrote in a recent post of the alarming rate couples cheat on themselves and I couldn’t agree less.

I shared how I was told to program my mind that all men cheat and mine will probably not be different in an earlier post too. Marriage has become a case of who can make the most compromises and some wives and some husbands stay contented with being the ‘main one’.

In a world of little decencies, how does one keep one’s sanity? How does one maintain that strong foundation that is supposed to help in building a rock solid relationship? Truth is nobody has it all together and I am not going to front like I have not battled my fears in my own little corner; The ifs, where, when and how but one thing that I know is that a relationship is more enjoyable when you trust and understand your partner thereby leaving no room for hearsays and what nots. Above all, this also helps to quickly heal and move on whenever there is a slip off because you know your partner will not willingly hurt you.

I find it ironic that despite the societal standards, the place of trust has not been shoved to the back seat. It is as important as it was from the beginning of times.Trusting one’s partner has nothing to do with expecting them to achieve feats that are not humanly possible but it means for one to be able to depend on them. Trust is not gotten in a day, it is built and consciously too.

If you don’t trust your partner, what you have is an unhealthy relationship and you need to take conscious steps to right that. The work to be done in such relationship is both ways. Allow me share these few tips with you.
  • Be honest, being honest never hurts anyone (well, diplomacy is needed sometimes though) and it can’t be downplayed. There are some lies that might seem like they need to be told so as to protect one’s partner but trust me, nothing remains hidden forever. Things could get ugly in future and your partner might not think on the line of you trying to protect him or her. Lay things bare on the table. Let your partner understand what it is they are getting into and where you are coming from. 
  • Be dependable. Please let your words stand. Don’t be hot today and cold tomorrow. Never make promises you find hard to keep. Be a person of your words. This helps in more ways than one in building trust. Your partner wants to be able to say, she would be here by noon because she already told me she would be. 
  • Be yourself. Never pretend to be what you are not. Overstating or understating things could well be interpreted to mean a lie. 
  • Carry your partner along in your plans. There are some times when surprises are really bad like when your partner gets to know about a major project you are involved in via a third party. 
  • Have decent expectations. No one is perfect. If your love is true, you would be able to weather major storms. Trusting your partner and knowing they wouldn’t hurt you on purpose makes it easier to forgive should they hurt you. 
I wish u all a beautiful week. Cheers.

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