Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Busy Women's Guide- Tips on Getting And Relating With Helps

Surviving without domestic help in this present day is becoming more harder. Especially in fast paced cities like Lagos. Even as conscientious as I felt on the matter of getting one, I am forced to have a rethink. Women are expected to be everything these days. Have a decent well-paying job, balance it with time for the kids, keep the home tidy and above all be the ultimate wife to your husband. You literally lost the right to your body the day you said ‘I do’. One is expected to be superwoman in literal terms.

This progression has made it so hard to survive without domestic staff-nannies/househelps and the recent news about them has been quite alarming. People have shared all kinds of tales that makes one weary of looking for a help at has suddenly become a tale of the rock and the hard place. I was at a social gathering recently where several women chatted about their helps. A number of them had interesting stories to share about their helps; stories varied from theft to adultery and fornication. Two of the women felt jilted that the helps had to go back to their villages/homes for Christmas celebration.

However way one views it, it is relieving to know some things have been taken care of before one gets back home. I used to have one myself but had to let her go because we just couldn’t get along well. I have done some research since then  and I came up with these tips for those that may be looking to get live-in helps in the New year.

·         Prayerfully search. There is nothing too small or great to bring to the Lord in prayer. You need to prayerfully seek whoever you are bringing into your home to stay. You cannot leave such things to chances my dear. Bringing a stranger is tricky enough, you don’t want to be stuck with possessed ones.

·         Go through the right agencies. No disrespect meant but I think using just any agency or getting someone from one of the social media is wrong. Whoever it is you are getting should be traceable. Remember you are bringing the person into your home. You don’t want to get back home to news of missing kids or properties that the help might have made away with.

·         Treat them like human beings. Impact their lives positively. Be a gospel to them. If you have the means, enroll them in a vocational institution or a school, so that they will be useful to themselves and the community even after leaving you.

·         Don’t be over reliant on them and be considerate when making requests. I think it is just mean to deny them the right to see their families. Remember they are humans too. If they have served you for most part of the year, be gracious enough to grant them few weeks to visit their families and friends.

·         Be very vigilant. Like Yorubas say the mind is very deep. Don’t be too trusting. Pop in on them at odd times. If they will be minding your child, please get hidden cameras if possible. The recent videos leaked on line of all sorts of nanny/help-child abuse is chilling. You don’t want to take chances at all.

·         Be tolerant. Give room for mistakes. Understand that we all are from different backgrounds, so, give time enough for the help to learn your ways of doing things.Be patient in your dealings. I have heard stories of people doing all sorts of unimaginable things to their helps. Please never forget they are humans too.

·         Involve them in your religious activities. Preach to them if you have to. You’d be surprised how being genuinely saved can shape a person’s life positively. There is nothing like working with a God fearing person.

·         Lastly, if you are not dying under the weight of your domestic chores, it might be good if you don’t get one to come live with you. You can organize for someone to come in once or twice a week to help with the general cleaning and whatever you might need help with. That saves lots of unwanted drama and headache.

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