Thursday, February 25, 2016

Being Single is the Best Phase of Your Life

I don’t understand why many young women are obsessed with the idea of marriage. These days, even twenty-two year old ladies are on the lookout for someone to marry, and it makes me wonder if they understand how amazing being single is. I’m not saying people should be single forever, but understand that while you are single, you learn a lot about yourself, and that is the best preparation for married life.

I watched ‘How to be Single’ the weekend it was released, and the lesson in the movie, though subtle, was very profound. Many single women out there are so engrossed in the search for a life partner that they are not paying any attention to themselves, their growth, or the life lessons around them. Their time is heavily invested in attracting the right kind of man, dropping subtle hints about proposals, and well, you know how these things roll. 

Your single phase is actually the best phase of your life. This is the phase where you work out your identity. This is the phase where you learn everything you need to know about yourself. This is the phase where you get to work out what you can and cannot tolerate. Many women skip this phase and jump into marriage, only to find themselves in emotionally abusive unions. Many women are so eager to skip the single phase, their identities are heavily dependent on the kind of man who approaches them. If he’s into extreme sports, suddenly, they want to join extreme sports too. If he already has children, then they want to put on mommy jeans; if he is highly educated, then they suddenly have a desire to pursue advanced degrees. If you have been letting the men you meet dictate your identity, then you are yet to learn how to be single. 

As a single woman, aim to be grounded in your self-developed identity, not an identity that is dependent on what society says or the men you meet. Keep yourself busy; earn some money or study if that’s what you want. Get your own apartment; learn how to manage your own funds, how to plan for your day, how to cook, how to clean up after yourself, and how to manage your time. Learn how to pursue your dreams on your own, and surround yourself with amazing friends who support your aspirations. This is what being single is all about – a phase filled with life lessons you cannot learn when you are tied to someone else. 

If you can learn the right lessons as a single woman, marital life with the right man who appreciates your strengths and respects your identity will be fulfilling. XOXO.

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