Wednesday, February 17, 2016

How to Work Through Your Insecurities

Insecurities affect behavioral expressions because they are deeply ingrained in the mind, and may result in a skewed perception of other people. Every individual I’ve met has something they are insecure about, so it is almost impossible not to have some form of insecurity. What is important is ensuring that your insecurities do not play a defining role in your character and behavioral traits. 

The first step to working through your insecurities is to accept that you are insecure. If that sounds like a ball park definition, I’ll narrow things down for you. If you feel you can only be in a relationship with a person you can control, then you are insecure. If you are constantly seeking to highlight the flaws of others, it is an indication that you have deep flaws you are trying very hard to hide. If you feel uncomfortable with the fact that a person is just a good person, and you secretly hope they slip and fall for all to see, it shows you are insecure about yourself and what you have to offer others. If you are constantly passing on the good guys (I don’t mean the boring ones who make you want to pull your hair out), you might be battling an insecurity that tells you you’re not good enough for someone so amazing. If you only feel good when you walk into a room and realize you’re the best-dressed, then you are insecure, and exhibiting pseudo-confidence. Get the gist? Now, what to do. 

1. Accept that you cannot be perfect: The reason many people are insecure is because they are caught up in a fantasy of perfection. They look at air-brushed individuals and scripted reality shows that propagate pseudo-perfection, and decide to aim for ‘that kind of life/ personality.” It is impossible to be perfect. The moment you tell yourself this repeatedly, half of your problems are gone. Don't obsess over every flaw you have. Don't put yourself down because your character is not what someone else desires.  

2. Understand that You don’t have to prove anything to anyone: This is one step that helps you accept yourself as you are- flaws and all, with the understanding that your flaws are being worked on by God through different experiences he exposes you to, hence you don’t have to prove to anyone that you are good enough to date, or the best option for anyone. If they cannot see the good in you, it’s best they keep walking.

3. Pray about the things you are unhappy with: Many insecure people really do not wish to express their insecurities. Yes, the battle is within, and they want to address them from within, but sometimes, it’s difficult to keep things from spilling over. If there is anything about yourself that you are unhappy with, change it. If the battle is within you, pray about it constantly. I’ve come to realize that we can pray about just anything. I sometimes find myself praying about how ill feelings I have towards someone else, and I find that it helps. It’s like a wave of the Holy Spirit comes over me in that moment and replaces those thoughts with the right ones. The same way, you can pray about any insecurities you may have. Ask God to help you see yourself the way he sees you- beautiful and blessed.

4. Surround yourself with people who constantly uplift you: If you are hanging around insecure friends, chances are those relationships will heighten your insecurities. They will push you to be defensive about your life, and cause you to obsess over your flaws. Stop hanging out with friends who are into competing with each other. True friends don't compete. Stop hanging out with friends who affirm your negative thoughts towards yourself. Surround yourself with friends who can see you are fighting you battles, and are always there to offer an encouraging word and point out your strengths to you, especially when you can't see them. 

Any more tips? Do share. XOXO

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