Thursday, April 23, 2015

How To Make Your Marriage Cheat Proof

When you think about cheating in marriages? How do you think it occurs? Your spirit filled tongue speaking self probably envisions the face of a monster or an alcohol abusing spouse? Do you think to yourself ‘no way that can ever be me’? Well, sorry to disappoint you, good people cheat too. Cheating is not peculiar to ungodly people, matter of fact some pastors have been known to fall. Can it be said that they are less aware of the repercussions of their actions or they don’t understand how badly their partners will be hurt?

Image result for how to make your marriage cheating proofMost cheating experiences are not planned, there are many good people who don’ set out with the intention to hurt their spouses but events spill out of their control and things get really messy and complicated.

It is very important that you make effort to make sure that your relationship is not cheat prone. To achieve this, you need to stay in the consciousness of what you share with your spouse. If you have a plant, you need to sprinkle water on it everyday to make it grow so does your relationship require persistent nurturing. Most times we get so familiar with the routine that exists between us as couples that we forget how important that personal and emotional connection is. The key note here is don’t ever take what you share for granted. Keep it fresh.

Be careful about the kind of relationships you keep outside your marriage. Mary J Blige was asked how she and her husband are able to stay married in such a divorce prone society, she replied that both of them are not allowed to keep close friends from the opposite sex i.e her husbands doesn’t have ladies as close friends and vice versa. While that might sound dramatic, there is some sense in it. If everytime you are mad at your partner, you find connection in this other relationship that ought to be harmless, you are (naively) building up to a situation that might cost you your marriage.

You are no saint. Nobody is above temptation, always avoid situations that can lead to cheating. A man of God once said that he never stays alone in the same room with a lady, he further said he avoids elevator rides alone with ladies even his own assitant. You need to understand where he is coming from, I think he is just being practical. When you understand your weakness, don’t push the limits. Things can get really complicated when you let down your guards, so there is a need for you to be careful.

If you have issues at home, talk about it with your partner and if things seem unresolvable between you two, see a therapist/counselllor. I don’t get our culture of trying to patch up holes that needs a sewing machine with just needle and thread. A counsellor can help you work through your problems and both of you will be happy at the end of the day. This can help prevent cultivating friendship that might lead to an affair.

Don't be away from home or each other for too long. I know there are some occupations that take spouses away from home for months.If it is an accessible place, then you should find a way to stay close/visit to each other. Otherwise, make use of your phones, computers, letters and every other means. The importance of constant communication can not be overemphasised.

Respect each other's desire. This is all round. Don't take each others needs for granted. Emotional, sexual, material or whatever need. Make sure you satisfy each other. If there are any inadequacies, talk about it and find a way around it. Keep yourselves physically attractive. Women don't go to bed smelling like the egusi soup you made the night before. Just understand the need to stay desirable for your spouses.

Never forget to pray about your marriage. Bear in mind that trust is the hardest thing to build and the easiest to shatter. May God grant us all the grace to always do the right thing. Stay blessed.

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