Monday, June 15, 2015

Don't Let Yourself Go After Getting Married!

I have heard it way too many times: people let themselves go after marriage!It is mostly a physical change or an adoption of a 'don't care' attitude towards their physical appearance, but I have also come to learn that people let go of so much more than their abs and firm thighs.

It is often inevitable that the body will experience changes after marriage. For women, after childbirth, body changes can sometimes not be avoided. However, there is no reason for us to let ourselves go after we settle into the routine life of marriage.Women are often the ones on the receiving end of the 'letting go' advice- they are told to run to the gym, hold on to their bodies, and make sure they stay attractive. Men with pot bellies and flabby arms hardly get the same advice, but oh well, that's not the real gist here.

For me, letting go has a different definition in its own little way. I believe marriage brings comfort (as it should), but that comfort can cause many of us to simply settle for the status quo. Many people see marriage as an achievement, and once they have it in the bag, it is not exactly necessary to do anything else. I have noticed that before marriage, many people have a lot of zeal, they have big dreams for their future, and some even had small dreams which could have big impacts on their immediate environment. They had drive and lots of potential  but all these have been lost in the comfortable haven of marriage, causing most individuals to adopt a laid back approach, even towards their physical appearance.

Of course, the focus shifts from oneself to the benefits of the family as a whole, and some things unforeseen take priority over others, but I have learned that it is important to make sure we look after ourselves in every way possible while we are in the business of looking after our families. There is no joy in letting ourselves go. There is nothing noble about sacrificing the core of our dreams simply to take a laid back approach, in a bid to satisfy the happiness of others, at our own detriment. Marriage does not mean we should let go of ourselves intellectually. Marriage, unlike many of us unknowingly believe is not an identity thief.  Marriage is not the ultimate achievement, and it is not the end of individuality. If anything, marriage births a new kind of individuality- a person who has the support of another- an irrefutable support system that ties up all the loose ends where your dreams and plans are concerned.

To truly be happy in life, we have to remember that we have to look out for ourselves. There is no point in suffering inside while we make others happy (think about the amazing entertainers in the world who committed suicide). We have to hold down our identities and stay true to who we are. Eat healthy! Not to keep your body young, but also to keep your soul young. Your old age will thank you! Pursue your dreams, even if you have to do so part-time. It is better than doing 'no-time'. Pamper yourself as often as possible- even your partner will thank you! Not many people are keen to climb into bed with a partner who smells of sweat or food. Taking a shower is not a crime against the earth, nor is keeping your skin in good health. Yes, inner beauty is very important, but we must feed the outside too. We should be happy to see ourselves in the mirror, and not simply sigh with resignation as we go about looking after others.

The fact that many people let themselves go physically and intellectually is the reason they are out in the cold today, wondering what happened after all the love and care they showed. Love is not about giving out by also receiving, and the best gift you can give yourself and others, is to look after yourself while you look after them. Don't let yourself go! XOXO

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