Wednesday, September 9, 2015

For Women: You Can Have It All
Have you ever sat through a pep talk for any pyramid marketing scheme? You should.

You’d feel like a kid again, you’d feel like there is nothing you are incapable of doing. It is a good feeling but it doesn’t last for a long time once you realize just how hard it is getting what was said done.

It is very much like making kids play pretend.

Back in the days, we had particular days dedicated to pretend in my elementary school. Some of us would dress as doctors, some as lawyers, and every other ‘prestigious’ occupation one can think of. We all had dreams of the life we wanted, we wanted to be the best in our fields. We were made to believe we could be whoever and whatever we wanted to be and we believed them. Our eyes would sparkle whenever we shared our dreams with our friends and parents. We were so young and na├»ve.

Growing up has made us realize that events don’t exactly play out the way we dream. It takes more than dressing up to be a doctor and it takes far more than a certificate to be great at what one does. It even gets trickier for a woman.

One is expected to get married, bear and nurture kids while actively holding the home and career front down. It is interesting to read stories of very successful women but I have come to discover that something always gives. It takes so much self-motivation not to lose focus or give up on one’s dream.

I took my first job because it afforded me time with my family and it had a good daycare center which worked perfectly for me. After a while, I discovered I wanted to chart a totally different career path that was not available in the company I worked for so I became utterly dissatisfied at work but I was scared to leave because I wasn’t sure I could find a place as accommodating in my desired career.

I toyed with the idea for over eight months before I finally mustered the courage to proceed. I discovered there were many things I had to consider. For example; my work hours and the proximity of my workplace to my house, which wouldn’t have been a big issue if I didn’t have to pick my child up after school and get back home to cook dinner on time like a dutiful wife ought to. I had to consider these in the midst of other things and it was not easy getting another job.

As women, we are judged not only by our own wrongs but also by our husband and children’s wrongs. We hold very sensitive place in the home, and the society that demands for us to make huge sacrifices.In doing this, we lose our identity and forget our own dreams but this doesn’t necessarily have to be so.We need not stop living because we deserve to be happy too. In fact, our personal happiness helps us to be able to function better.

Some of us get judged for being ‘just a housewife’ and some of us get judged for being ‘too career conscious’. Whatever the situation, what most of us desire is great balance.

We all know it is so hard finding this balance. There are recruitment agencies that make one take pregnancy tests before they employ one. Someone I know had to indicate on her CV that she is ‘married but done with childbearing’. There are also children that ave turned out badly because their parents weren't there for the. All these victimizations and societal expectations make it hard to stay focused.

Despite these, there are women that stuck it through and have been successful on both fronts. We all just need to stay in the consciousness of our goals so that we don’t wake up in the middle of our lives and be filled with regret and resentment towards our spouses and children, especially when we feel they are not appreciative enough.

So as not to live a dissatisfying live, bear the following in mind;
  • Never forget what your dreams are ,
  • There are always negatives, stop complaining and stay focused on your strength,
  • You might not always get the much needed motivation from the society, you need to be your greatest cheerleader; talk to yourself and take the much needed steps,
  • Make the best out of your situation
  • Don’t give up on yourself, it is never too late to start
Accept every 'good' help offered, things are always easier with great support system

You will be surprised at what you are capable of and you truthfully can have it good on both ends. I am also on that path with you. May God's grace never depart from us.

Remember,You are indeed SUPER.



  1. I think most importantly also(and now that knowledge abounds), women do have to understand that (a) they're humans and aint perfect. They ain't robots so juggle just as much as you CAN deal with. And (b) take a break. Life will still be there (and will still be needing you - selfishly too), when you return. So go easy on you.

    Nice one, Fisi. Really deep write up as always.


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