Thursday, September 17, 2015

Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last

It is so disheartening when one’s love is unrequited, the kind some people call being friend zoned. When we find ourselves in such predicament, we are quick to see all that is wrong with the world. We wonder why the people of the world are so icy cold despite the global warming(ok, I didn’t mean that). A friend asked me once why some people don’t appreciate the people that show them love. If I were to rephrase her question, it would be ‘why do nice people finish last?’
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While I am of the opinion the world is in more need of nice people, I have noticed a rather painful trend when this term is associated to romantic relationships. An overly nice person is prone to being taken for granted and the reasons are as stated below:

No one notices the doormat: We all get back home and dust our feet on the doormat. Laying on the mat whatever filth we brought from outside. The doormat stays there dutifully taking it all with no complain. We don’t see how hard it serves us, this can be likened to the ‘nice person’. Such person is always available even when being treated wrongly, it doesn’t matter that their messages are left unreplied for days or their phone calls rejected. Such person is satisfied with that tiny bit of time to hold on to. They are there when we go from one heartbreak to the other, they offer tissues to us when we are dejected. We could scream and insult them, they’ll still be back the next day. We forget to appreciate their good deeds because we have become so used to them we stop seeing them.
Note: It is alright to call people out on their wrongs. Don’t let your feelings override reason, don’t be scared to speak out when you are hurt and you should be able to say enough is really enough.

No one wants to have a romantic relationship with their father: The problem might be you worry too much and perhaps you are too nurturing. Your attitude makes it hard to view you in a romantic light. You make it hard for one to perceive you as more than a caring person. 
Note: You need not break your back to prove your love for someone. If you are a naturally loving person, then you will definitely find someone deserving. 

You come across as uninteresting: There are many unstable people in the world. The fact that you cant bring the drama such people desire makes them call you 'boring'. You always do the same things and you are always right most times. You dot your sentences with 'Please' 'May I' 'Can I' 'Sorry' 'Thank you'. Your resolve to always be there has made you out as a clingy person with no life outside the person you are interested in. There is no mystery to you, they say.
Note:People are mostly hypocritical. It is not your fault that you are loving and selfless. You are not made for those that take such qualities for granted.
If he/she tells you ‘you deserve better’, you definitely do. There is definitely someone that is custom-made for you .Not everything we desire is good for us so if anyone can’t take your awesomeness or takes you for granted, then it is the person’s loss. 
You are the kind women and men stay up into the night praying for. You don't have to change your ways.  

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