Wednesday, October 7, 2015

I Have Been Dating A Married Man For Three Years- Will He Leave His Wife For Me?

The radio is a big part of Lagos. The OAPs are some sort of celebrities and I must confess that I envy them sometimes. It must be really nice making money off banters. 

There are times the discussion is just about a coke bottle and a Pepsi bottle, and they’d go on and on. Other times, it is more exciting. 

People call in sometimes wanting answers to real life issues or just calling in to know what their voices sound like on the radio. Some of the questions and issues have me talking loudly in agreement or disagreement at times.

One of such times was when a lady called in wanting to know if she was wasting her time with a married man she has been seeing for three years. The man in question is said to have been married for four years with two kids and he has been promising her he was going to leave his wife.

My first thought is ‘are you kidding me, is this even up for discourse’

But then again, I paused to really take it in and not be so rash. Perhaps, her worries are genuine. After all we all deserve love. It is sad however that we are naturally selfish in nature as humans and this can be seen in the decisions we make. Were the position to be reversed and were the caller to be the wife, I wonder if she’ll be asking the same question.

Asides from that, it is really naïve for anyone to think married people, who have affairs, are ready to quit their marriages. It is a hard truth to swallow but such things hardly ever happen. I am not saying it never does but I am emphasizing on ‘hardly’.

People cheat for several reasons. I don't want to bore you with painting different scenarios but cheating can really never be justified. It is what it is.

However, the reason why he wouldn’t leave is wife is very simple. You have already given him the chance to eat his cake and have it. You know you are a side chick and you already foolishly agreed to the arrangement. You help him in playing his game very well by not calling at odd hours and helping keep up the façade he wants to keep up while with his wife to cover his affair. You give him good sex and attention and he still goes home to play the good dad to his children. There are not many people that will want to disrupt that arrangement.

Another reason is you are in the wrong and yes I am about to go spiritual on you. Are there no other men on the surface of the earth? Remember

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

This verse is self-explanatory. That union you are about to destroy is sanctioned by God. You don’t want to incur the wrath of God by destroying it. If you look well enough, you will find your Boaz. Stop chasing another woman’s man.

You also need to address some issues within you, holding on to a relationship for three years because of a promise that might never be fulfilled says a lot about you. You are so desperate for love that you think all you deserve is the lies of an unavailable man. You are so much more. Before i formed you in the womb, I knew you –Jer 1:5. You are always on God's mind sweetie,you are no afterthought. Live and walk in that truth. You really deserve so much more.

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