Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Loyalty Versus Individuality: Are You a Goat or a Sheep?

I have always believed that it is important to only go into a relationship with a person whose ills and flaws you can tolerate or overlook. It is easier said than done to overlook every single flaw, and tolerating them can push you to the brink of insanity. Being in a relationship can be really tough especially if you are not the type who listens, or funny enough, the type who speaks up. 

Whenever there is a difference of opinion between you and your partner, the ideal thing to do would be to listen to that saying that goes "In a fight between two hearts, if one is a goat, the other must be a sheep." In other words, two goats will only end up locking horns, and the results of such a squabble might not be so pretty. In the real world, I have observed that unbalanced relationships have a person who is constantly a goat (figuratively speaking), while the other person is constantly a sheep. The goat tends to always get its way; the goat sulks if it doesn't get its way, and more often than not, the goat will demand that the sheep apologize even if the goat set the unfortunate occurrence of events in motion. The sheep on the other hand is tolerant to a fault. The sheep is very subservient, and in this figurative description of a relationship, the sheep will always try to ensure that the goat does not get upset. 

The problem with many relationships that lead to abuse these days is that we tend to believe that if we are in love with a person, we must do everything in the book to please that person, as well as agree with every move that person makes. This applies to both men and women! There are men out there who in the name of letting their partner be her own person simply say yes to any of her demands; they do not have the courage to tell her she's wrong for fear of rocking the boat and losing the relationship. Women are the pros when it comes to this kind of behavior; many women bite their tongues and tolerate vulgar expressions of character because they don't want to come across as too controlling, or lose out on a relationship with the man in question. Slowly, many people find themselves blending into the character traits of their partners while they end up losing themselves completely. 

It may seem more christian-like to act like a sheep, but I'd like to encourage you to be a goat when you have to! Yes, you'll need to overlook certain traits; yes, you'll need to make peace with other traits, but any trait in your partner that diminishes you as an individual or does not take your feelings into consideration requires the attitude of a goat! So many people are scared to rock the boat and fall into the water. Why? I don't understand. If you fall into the water, you'll be able to assess if your partner is willing to ensure you both get back into the boat, or if he or she will simply swim away in search of another boat. If it's the latter, then you know you never really had a partner, you had a master! Sometimes your partner will do things that displease you extremely, speak up and let him or her know! Don't simply bottle it up with the hope that your silence will keep the relationship alive. To love a person does not mean you must agree with everything they do. Love is accepting a person as they are, and still letting them know the many ways they can improve themselves. Most importantly, even in love, it is important to let your partner understand where you stand on certain issues, and ensure that your loyalty to your relationship does not eradicate your individuality. XOXO

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