Friday, October 23, 2015

Why Men are More Likely To Marry the Wrong Partner

Generally speaking, there are many good women, with great character attributes, good achievements and a healthy dose of humility who are still single and on the lookout for their husbands. For some reason, many of the women who are rude, arrogant, disrespectful, untidy, and whatever else you can come up with are married to men who are looking for the nearest cliff to jump off of. It makes you wonder how the world works, doesn’t it? Well, there is no need for an indepth scientific analysis of the male brain; my theory is pretty simple. 

After a relationship bites the dust, most women take some time to reflect on what went wrong, why it went wrong, what they did wrong, how they could have salvaged situations etc. Basically, women go through a mourning period for their relationships, and tend to over-analyze everything till they’ve gone full circle through the emotions of anger, surprise, self-blame, blame on others, chronic sadness, and at the brink of depression, get pulled back by the realization that they cannot change things that have happened, and if things were meant to be, they’d work out somehow. For many men, that is not the case. The idea of mourning a relationship and analyzing or over-thinking is not really a male characteristic. An advert I watched on TV once said the male brain is made of many wires but none of the wires are connected to each other, hence every event in a man’s life stands in isolation and is not emotionally attached to anything else.

 A woman’s brain on the other hand is a mass of wires extensively inter-connected in a huge mass that cannot be sorted even by the most finicky person on earth. This being said, men tend to not dwell on situations as long as women, and those situations include breakups. Hence, many men may find themselves walking back into the same old trap they thought they left behind in the old relationship, and this time, the trap may be a prettier design, a more soft-spoken design, a seemingly respectful one, and what they might term a very secure one.

It is hard to avoid what you have not learned to be aware of. You cannot be aware of what you have not acknowledged, and you cannot acknowledge what you haven’t given any thought to! It is that simple! The choice of a partner for most men depends on whether or not they are ready to marry, and who’s the seemingly most suitable girl around them at that time (never mind if she's pretending, or if their priorities are shallow). For some men, the fear of loneliness drives them straight into the hands of danger. They just can’t afford to be single; they want someone they can call their own, someone to talk to, and at that point of desperation, any woman will do! (Yes! men get desperate too!) That’s why you find that men break up relationships that have lasted for years, only to go get married to someone they only just met six months before. No big surprises that the same men two years later are like prisoners in an emotional cage, longing to get out. 

Guys, take some time to mourn your broken relationships; it does not in any way make you less of a man. Take some time to think about why things ended. Can you salvage the relationship? If you can’t, what lessons did you learn from it? What were the things you did wrong? How do you intend to address your personal issues, while applying your lessons going forward? 

Choosing is a partner is not about being ready. You could be ready and have no suitable person around you who complements you. Choosing a partner without acknowledging faults or lessons from past relationship can lead to a classic case of dejavu, and by then, getting out might not be so easy.

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