Wednesday, October 14, 2015

What's Your Motivation?

A few weeks ago, I was having a discussion with a lady who wanted my advice. We discussed relationships, and she boldly proclaimed she'd be pregnant and married by next year. Oh? How was she so sure, I asked. She proceeded to tell me she was seeing a guy from her former work place. I prodded a bit more and asked about how he treats her, did he have any plans for her birthday? who initiates the time they spend together etc. 

She told me very clearly that he was not the type to make plans for her birthday and she always initiated time spent together. OK... we were getting somewhere. "Why then do you plan to have his child and marry him if he makes no effort?" She shrugged and said nothing for a while. I changed the subject and asked about her work and her co-workers (past and present), and that's when it came out "They will be so surprised when I marry him. They will be completely shocked because they are not expecting me to get a guy like that." Ah...finally! It became very clear. 

Why do we do the things we do?
 I try to talk a walk for at least an hour every evening. Sometimes I jog, and sometimes I run, especially when I feel my brain might burst. On these journeys, I have met all kinds of people- those who are jogging simply because their friends are there, and those who do not even understand the point of jogging and cannot explain why they are there. I've also met those who are there for the sole purpose of finding a potential date but that is a topic for another day. After my meeting with the lady and her outburst, I realized many of us are doing things for the wrong reasons. 

Is your motivation simply about impressing others? Is it about revenge? Are you motivated by your desire for approval from a certain group of people? Or are you simply motivated by the thought of being admired by all and sundry? Then you are doing everything wrong! 

In all you do, your motivation should be deeply-rooted in a sense of purpose! People looking for potential dates on a jogging trail have a better sense of purpose regarding what they are doing as opposed to those who are there simply because their friends are there. Many of us do not understand the importance of having the right source of motivation, hence we find ourselves walking into deep and dark dungeons without even being aware! We want our friends to eat their words, bite their tongues and fall at our feet; we want those who despised us and spoke ill of us to regret their words and come begging for our help. I can understand that; It's human. But to make it our motivation for decisions we make? That means we are simply slaves of someone else's perception of us! 

Be motivated by your purpose, not by your desire to impress or enslave other people. be motivated by what makes you happy, and what makes you free. Be motivated by the sense of contentment you 'll feel in your heart when you achieve your goals. Be motivated by those who will be positively affected by your achievements. Don't tie your motivation to anyone's perception. Success is the best form of revenge only for those who are so keen to prove someone else wrong, they have no idea what their purpose is. XOXO

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