Thursday, July 7, 2016

Spot the Difference. Know When to Let Go

Have you ever been in a friendship where everything started off great but sort of waned with time? I bet you have. Really, who hasn't? I bet you've been there with relationships too irrespective of whether they were romantic, professional or simply necessary for the time they were forged. The truth is we all come to a point in our lives where our relationships lose steam and we have to evaluate if they are necessary burdens to carry or dead weights to get rid of. With this post, I hope to help you with making the right decision. 

There are two kinds of people that will come into your life: the short-term people and the long-term people. From reading, it may seem like identifying them is easy but many of us still get confused over who is who. 

Short-term people usually come in with a bang. You meet them and immediately you all get along like a house on fire, no questions asked. You seem to want to talk about all the fun stuff you can get up to, and if complaining is your hobby, you will both comb each other's hair while you complain from sunrise to sunset. The first few months with people like this seem to be full on the outside, but like a ring doughnut, there is nothing inside. After a few months, you find yourself going along with the crazy ideas, the gossip, and all the other stuff you don't want to do just because you're worried you will be tagged a party pooper. 
The problem here is that with short term people, your friendship does not have a strong footing. When you hit rock bottom and you need someone to talk to, your short-term friends will only be there for a short while and if you wallow longer than they can handle, they vanish into thin air. It's not that they are bad people but the friendship was never based on you as a person. It was likely based on a spontaneous event that brought you together, a group chat or a mutual like or dislike of someone or something. You should also understand that God sometimes sends short term people your way to test you, to teach you, and sometimes to help you grow. Once their work is done, they pull away. Don't chase after them. Just like a flight, co-passengers connect for a while. After the flight, each person grabs their bags and separate except fate destines them to meet again. 

Long term people on the other hand are stronger and silent in your life. They know you inside out and cherish you irrespective of what you do or fail to do. The long term people always have ideas to help you grow, help you succeed, and freely give their time to you. When you are wandering away, they become anchors, when you're ready to take on a new challenge, they strengthen your sails. They are always there to offer support and bring peace with them. Why do we struggle to stick with them? We say they are boring. They act like they know too much, they want to tell us what to do, they are annoying, they have their lives too together....the excuses go on and on.

Learn to spot the difference between a person who's with you because you are fun and a person who's with you because you're you. Learn to value the long term people in your life rather than take them for granted because they are always there. Don't let the camouflage of fun a short term person brings steal you from the peace a long term person gives. 

Value your long term people. XoXo

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