Wednesday, July 13, 2016

What Makes a Happy Relationship?

We've all heard or said the saying "no one is perfect" at some point in our lives. We've seen the cracks in many relationships, and the holes in many more. We have seen relationships fall apart and crumble into ashes with no hope of any concrete reformation....and amidst these cracks and breaks, we have all seen relationships that have stood the test of time - relationships that have been through thick and thin, yet survived. We have all seen those relationships that are not just happy on the outside because both parties are smiling for the camera; they are happy on the inside too. And in a way, we can call them perfect. How on earth did those people achieve such happiness and stability? How did they achieve such perfection? How do they keep smiling amidst all the rough patches? The answer is not love. The answer is willingness. 

Love is a great feeling; people are euphoric when they are in love; they feel like they can walk on water; they have butterflies in their tummies, yet feel stable and secure enough in that person's presence. Love can make you think of a person and smile but... that feeling of love is not enough to build a happy relationship. It is the willingness to exercise that love that counts. There are many undeclared love stories buried deep  in many hearts that have been separated by circumstances, societal expectations, and self-conflict. If love was enough, such cases would not exist. It is not enough to feel love for a person; you must be willing to show it too... and this is where many people fail.

We are unwilling to express the love we feel in its true form, so we adopt game plans from 'two can play that game', 'the perfect match', 'scandal' and in some cases, 'how to get away with murder'. We don't want to seem like we have fallen too hard for fear that we will be called weak, for fear that we will be left high and dry. We are unwilling to let offenses go, and let nagging go, and let pain go. We want to feel special in our pain so we hold on to it, and refuse to willingly practice our love above everything else. In an effort to show they have not fallen hard, many people treat their partners with nonchalance because they have the erroneous believe that the emotions they share, although not expressed will make their partners stay forever. That is the perfect recipe for growing apart and creating a doughnut relationship - one that looks full on the outside while it is hollow on the inside. 

If you haven't been doing so, it is time to deliberately begin to express your love to your partner. It is time to let yourselves fall hard into that love that no one can explain or understand. It is time to willingly treat your partner like gold. It is time to willingly show that you want to be in the relationship and you want to make it work. By doing so, you are setting the right platform for a genuinely happy relationship. 

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