Sunday, July 31, 2016

Wife, Not Cook

Image via www.bellanaija.com
The human race, just like technology, is progressing. We seem to have successfully transcended from the stage of barbarianism and savagery to a time where we seem to be more tolerant of one another (or so we think). The procession from the days of slave trade to the cry for freedom of every human has been both enlightening and emotional. For the recluse, it might seem like the best time to be alive. Live and let live, the majority choruses. A lot of progress has been made in the society especially in this social media age. The girl child and women generally are doing great exploits while lots of questions are being raised on what used to be known as traditional gender roles. These questions have spread to our homes and it is pertinent that we get answers. 

Should there still be traditional roles? What is expected of a man in the home? What role is a woman expected to play in her home? Should there even be gender roles at all? 

I found myself deeply reflecting on these questions when I stumbled on the social media hashtag ‘Wife,notCook’. What started as an Instagram post by a man who took a picture of his food in a restaurant quickly became a public subject of discourse with everyone airing his/her views. Someone had pointed out that his wife ought to be cooking instead of him having to eat out , to which he replied, #WifeNotCook. In that instance, he became the hero of many people that have felt the need to question the structures that has always been. 
Many interesting opinions were shared and while I understood some of the posts shared, the others left me riddled. One person tweeted that she will only cook for her husband only if he is worth it. I am not even about to make this a big deal but I really fear that our fight for equality of both sexes is being washed down by such debates as this.

Women have no doubt been cheated over the years but making everything out like a battle isn’t the way to go about things. Women have been known to be naturals at house keeping while the men have been known to be the breadwinner of the house. A lot of that has changed,hence the hashtag.

My two cents however, would be that marriage, which is the case in point here, is peculiar. It is built on compromise and no two marriages are entirely alike.

What this means is that with great communication and understanding, no one has to feel compelled to follow a set of rules. Mutual respect is what is key for a relationship to survive. Do not be bent on playing mind games with your partner, understanding one’s spouse is the most important thing.

We get married  in order to support each other.  This means when one of the parties involved is weak where the other is strong, then the stronger one should help. We should treat our partners with consideration and kindness while we allow room for growth. It isn't right for every thing from' who takes the trash out' to who pays the bill to be decided by public opinions. Find out whatever works for you as a couple and stick to it because no two relationships are alike and what works for A might not necessarily work for B . While hashtags might have become a major feature of the social media, it doesn’t necessarily present the solution to marital issues. If you are a man and you are a good cook, by all means cook and if as a woman you can’t cook, there is no harm in learning. Marriage is for both people involved to become better versions of themselves.

Stay Blessed.

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