Wednesday, August 3, 2016

How To Get Your Groove Back After Childbirth

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The black Friday is notorious for its crazy sales and long queues at shopping malls. I try to avoid the malls during such days, it doesn’t make much sense for someone like me that detests queues and probably wouldn’t want to be dragged into idle conversations while waiting on queues that may have me consuming two bottles of coke for strength and patience. 

Lately though, I have found that I don’t have as much aversion towards random conversations with strangers as I thought I did. It probably comes with the mom territory; a screensaver or child clutched to my chest is all the conversation starter needed. We fast become acquainted and the conversations can fast change from how lovely or not the weather is to how one is faring generally. We apparently have more in common than we acknowledge.

Having and taking care of kids change a lot of things and it takes a lot of inner strength to maintain a decent balance in other aspects of one’s life. Having engaged a lot of women in longconversations, I find that the struggle is alike for most of us. We all want to be there for our children while still keeping our ‘sexy’ alive. Much as we try to embrace the changes that come with the process of starting a family, we still crave control over our work and romance lives.
There is the very important need to satisfy one’s spouse bedroom needs. This obligation might take a lot of getting used to after childbirth due to several reasons. Some women find it hard to accept their new bodies, making them lose confidence which in turn lead to avoidance of intimacy while some others are just unable to get aroused as a result of the birthing process. Studies have shown that women that  had caeserean section have a probability of not enjoying sex after childbirth. Also, the stress of juggling work and taking care of the kids often put a lot of strain on most couples that makes getting intimate with one’s partner of less priority. There is also the fear of not wanting to conceive which could make sex between couple less desirable.

All these and many other reasons that impede intimacy between couples after childbirth are valid. While some of them can get better over time, others might need for one to visit the doctor or a therapist. If you are scared of conceiving, then it is advisable to look into a good form of family planning that will work for you as a couple so that you will be less distracted by all manners of ‘what ifs’ when getting intimate.
 For many women, the body doesn’t stay the same, hence weighing on their esteem, to this I can only say that you cut yourself some slacks and embrace the cellulites and stretchmarks as well earned stripes. You can discuss your insecurities with your partner, you’ll be surprised it is not as serious as you think.
 It is hard getting alone times together when the children are young, get a family member or a baby sitter so you canget sometime alone and when you do, make the best of it whenever you do find it.

Some are luckier than others and they really don’t experience much difference after the children arrive. For those affected, be assured that you have company and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.It is all a matter of time sometimes. Discuss your fears and feelings with your spouse while you both work through it. 

Don’t give up, find your groove back.

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