Thursday, August 4, 2016

Can Cheating Be Justified?

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Time was fast passing, Tayo thought. She reminded herself that she would be 35 by her next birthday. Perhaps she was too choosy she thought. She decided there was no gain in all the standards she had set, so the next one that asked her hand in marriage was the one she said yes to. He’s a good man and seems to genuinely care about her, she ignored the lack of chemistry or any shared interest. Time will bring them closer, she thought but sadly it never did.  Her boredom knew no bounds till she met her new work colleague whose stares created a fire within her that she had forgotten existed. It wasn’t long that she started seeing him secretly.

 Kole has a nagging wife. Everyone on their street knows their love story from hearing his wife’s voice many blocks away. There is always something wrong. Home didn’t feel like home, the office held more sanity. He took to the bars where he met Lai, a streetwise girl that was ready to listen to his worries and offer him advice. He started to share more than tales, and she bared more than her shoulders for him to lean on. The feeling of guilt never held him back, he offered his body too and it fast became a habit. 

Everyone knows Sandra and Ben from their high school days. It needed no telling that they were in love with each other- the perfect Instagram couple. They had a wedding that could fit in a fairytale and they both couldn’t have wanted anything more. Then the children arrived and the bills piled up. It wasn’t clear what it was but something seemed off. Ben became more vested in his job that he hardly had time for his wife. As the gap between them got deeper, she courted a man she met on the internet. He seem to like her a lot and she also likes  him. She finds herself looking forward to conversing with the man online and secretly counting down to when they will meet.

 Infidelity is an epidemic in our society which has claimed many casualties through murder, broken homes and many more. When we take our vows before our loved ones, most of us don’t envisage situations that would lead to us breaking those vows but many people do break them. Some men of God have even been caught in this horrible trend too. Going by the instances cited above, can one justify cheating? Sadly, the obvious answer is No.

Often times, the reason for cheating is selfishness. If you consider the effect of your actions on your partner if they find out, then you won’t cheat. Marriage requires for us to look out for our spouse’s feelings too, so much as issues may arise, betraying their trust is never the solution.Another obvious reason should be that adultery is against God’s commandments. If we were all left alone to live our lives based on our personal rules, the world would have come to ruins by now.

 Issues are bound to arise and there might be periods of disconnection between couples, but  instead of seeking solace outside the relationship, it is better you communicate your feelings to your spouse. Talk, talk and talk, it just never gets tired. Of course there are ways to engage. Don’t nag, shout or talk down at your spouse. Whatever you do, do it in loveDon't be shy to seek help, talk to a marriage counsellor if you cant handle matters between yourselves. Above all, avoid temptation.

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