Friday, August 26, 2016

Finance Issue - Ugly Power Struggle in Marriage

Money tends to bring about arguments in relationships, if not properly addressed. You can't have a great relationship until you can communicate and agree about money. The issue of finance in marriage should be thoroughly discussed by both partners before marriage or in the first month of marriage. Some couples shouldn't talk about money because it only leads to fights. You might want to address the issue of:
  • Joint account – Do you need one or not? What is the risk involved in having one? 
  • Separate accounts i.e. one for kids’ school fees, another for extended family, another for day to day expenses like grocery, subscription bills, etc. 
  • Personal Account where you can control your own savings and spending – Can you both have a personal account in order to avoid conflict. 
  • Both Accounts i.e. Joint and Personal Accounts. 
Both couple should make financial decisions together so that they don't grow apart if done solely. We all have personal differences when it comes to spending, saving and accounting for money and this should not pose problems in our relationship. A partner may question the other partner's financial decision when one party is unemployed and solely depends on the other partner; the employed partner wants to question every cent the unemployed partner spends and even wants to take all the financial decisions because they bring the money. 
In a case, where the husband is a school teacher and the wife a banker; this will pose little problems for the man because the banker wife will want to live a luxury life that matches her status like renting a duplex apartment for them because she could afford it. Money issue leads to power struggle among couples as the one who makes more money wants to control the marriage. 

The economic downturn is putting stress on marriages at every income level. Major economic worries affect both individual’s well-being and the couple’s relationship. The uneasiness connected with unpaid bills, credit card debt and possible job or home loss seems to bring out the worst in people. Anger about money, spill over into other areas like communication breakdown, differences in money habits begin to surface and blaming each other wear down affection.

Serious money problems can cause panic and bring many couples to the brink of divorce. But couples can grow through this difficulty, and find ways they can work as a team to overcome adversity. Couples can seek the expertise of a financial counselor and create a plan that cut extras and develop a financial projection that will benefit the marriage not individual interests.

Money in marriage is connected to a whole lot of things: communication, sex, feelings, satisfaction, health. The rising unemployment rate, increase in cost of house leasing, and increase in cost of consumables are bad news, but opportunity lies right beneath the surface of the rough water. The opportunity is to face adversity together, to renew trust in God and in each other and to build a stronger marriage that overcomes the test of time. There is no greater treasure than that.

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