Sunday, August 14, 2016

Stop Holding Back, Get Married Already.

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Marriage is a beautiful thing and perhaps good enough to aspire to if things are done the way God intend for it to be (a mutually sacrificial selfless show of love and dedication like the relationship between Christ and the church). 

There has been a lot of depressing marital news causing some to question the need for the union. It is not uncommon to hear people say they are never going to get married or that the marital institution will go extinct soon. There are a lot of other kinds of arrangement that don’t spell commitment that all seem to make the marital institution a big joke. It truthfully does look like we have lost it with tales of infidelity and sometimes murder trailing even the relationships some might have looked up to. 

Couples that were supposedly in love come on social media airing the dirtiest of their laundry for all to see further deepening the aversion some already developed for the institution. How do we know who is true? Can we be careful in love? Will our hearts ever be safe? Who is to tell if a lover would stay or go? Or who knows the man/woman that will stay with one through thick or thin?
The thing is we all have stories to tell and if there is anything true , then it is that we all learn through experience . If you asked sister Bola that had those ‘goal like’ pictures of her and her seemingly perfect husband on Instagram yesterday if love is as perfect as the picture she shared, perhaps she might be kind enough to share stories of impulsive texts filled with angry words or unpalatable dinner on tensioned tables. She might also share with you how deeply in love she still is with her husband irrespective of their disagreements.

The thing is we are not without our faults. We put so much focus on ourselves as individuals that we forget about the common goal of building a home filled with love. Many people go into marriages in combat mode, watching out for any mistake their spouse might make. Nobody said marriage is perfect or that the world would come to an end after every disagreement,what is important is being able to put our prides in check and move forward no matter the situation. 

Recently, a trend started on Facebook of people challenging couples to take the love challenge by sharing pictures and tips on what has held them together as a couple. I can be quite introverted especially about my relationship but even I, know that such challenges as this is needed. In a self-seeking world of minimal trust and proud side chicks, we need this kind of fresh perspective. Apparently we all need to be reoriented about what marriage and love is about and how it can be well sustained. It is interesting to see different people baring their hearts and the growth they have been able to achieve together as couples.

One thing is true, love is a leap of faith. If you don’t go into it, you never know all the blessings there is on the other side. 

It won’t be all cream and honey but it can be worth every strain with the right attitude. Don’t allow the ‘ifs’ and ‘what ifs’ hold you back.

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