Saturday, August 13, 2016

Choosing your Spouse from your Neighbourhood

Growing up in an environment with your peers where you rarely differentiate gender seem interesting and memorable. Most times, the time spent together with your peers in your neighbourhood before your parents get back from work are usually not enough. With time, you develop interest in the opposite sex as a result of the time you spend together and a relationship ensues. 

A grandma in my church confided in me when she told me about her son who is separated from his wife and children. She (grandma) blamed the separation on the fact that her son married a girl who stayed three blocks away from them. To her, the neighbourhood monitored their relationship and was responsible for the breakup. Today, she (grandma) does not relate with her in-laws because of the friction caused by the breakup of their children. She advises ladies against dating or marrying someone from the same neighbourhood. 
Dating or marrying someone from your neighbourhood is filled with benefits as well as challenges but if the two of you can work through complications that arises, you are much more likely to make your romance last. Things to note in neighbourhood relationship:
  1. Within Reach/Nearness - Staying close to your partner is a benefit as both partners have to see each other often. This will surely improve the bond between them as they don't have to take a flight or train to see one another and they will be able to spend more time together. When things get messy and one partner probably wants space from the relationship but the likelihood is that they will see each other even when they don’t want to since they stay in the same neighbourhood. This can be exasperating and uncomfortable for either of them except one of them decides to move out of the neighbourhood. 
  2. Zero Confidentiality - It is difficult to live a private life if your partner stays in the same vicinity with you because they will see much of what goes on in your life. You won't have your own social life without them wanting to know what you are doing and whom you are with. You might crave for some 'me time' because you think your partner is always keeping tabs on you but this might send a wrong signal to the other party who always want to be in your company. You both should agree on time and dates you want to meet each other so to avoid bombing into each other in between busy schedules. 
  3. New Relationship – In case of a breakup, it can prove to be challenging as you might find it difficult bringing your new partner to the neighbourhood so as not to spite your former lover. One time, a friend of mine who used to date her neighbour was with someone else at the mall and the neighbour asked her boyfriend if he was dating her and he said I feel sorry for you. 
In general, the most important thing in dating someone in your neighbourhood is to take things slow and done with caution as most relationships of such if not properly handled may crash and have a dent on both families.

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