Thursday, August 4, 2016

You're Just Not Good Enough

If you have ever felt like you are not good enough for anyone, this article is for you. 

These days, it appears finding love is like trying to find a yacht at an airport, or trying to find water in the dessert. It's just not as easy as the movies make it out to be. Almost everyday, I read emails from people who have been badly hurt and are just not willing to try anymore. One sentence echoes in their hearts and their minds - "you cannot find genuine love because you are just not good enough". It is understandable that many people feel this way. Having a stable relationship might not be an achievement but it is a basic human need to connect with someone on a level that is beyond understanding. When rejection keeps coming in this area, the thought that we are not good enough, hence the reason no one wants to stick around, is one that is difficult to forego. Right? From this onward, I want you to start thinking different. 

You see, the world is more complicated than it has ever been, and people are more self-absorbed than they have ever been (according to my old and wise friends). Everyone is looking out for themselves, taking what they can get, and moving on irrespective of who gets hurt. People are choosing the wrong partners and leading them down the aisle every weekend, and peering over the fence later because that has become a norm. People are eating their cakes and having them too because it is not about what the other person feels, but more about what they feel and how they can get everything they desire. The meaning of love has evolved through time to mean something many old souls will never understand. (Don't let me get started on how my old buddy gets exasperated when we discuss this issue of love)...but then there's you - genuinely seeking a connection and showing how much you care only to end up rejected, taken for a ride or played off as second fiddle. What is wrong with you?

My answer? Absolutely nothing! There is nothing wrong with you because you want a genuine connection, and there is nothing wrong with you because the people you desire keep rejecting you. I need you to understand that finding love is like building a puzzle, only certain pieces fit in certain places. You cannot connect with everyone you meet, just like they cannot connect with you. The issue is you are yet to find the one who connects with you on the same wavelength, hence won't play you for second fiddle or reject you just because... The world is full of people who are yet to fully grasp what love is, and even worse, it is full of people who are seeking to get what they can while they leave others high and dry. So what should you do?

Be true to yourself. Don't change who you are to suit what the world has become. You can try to change but it still won't make you good enough. As a matter of fact, it is more difficult because you will find yourself straining to match up to a counterfeit image just to suit people who should not be in your life to begin with. Be who God created you to be and don't apologise for it. Be kind to people because you want to be, not because you want to be noticed or thanked for it. Stay true to yourself. You are good enough, you are amazing, you are an inspiration to people you hardly know, and you are enough for the right person. XOXO

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