Thursday, November 12, 2015

Lies Women Tell Themselves About Men

We might not like to admit it as women but we lie to ourselves everyday where men are concerned. We have absorbed ridiculous theories, and quotes as facts, and without being aware, we act out accordingly. For some women, these lies have helped preserve their relationship, albeit unhealthy. For others, these lies have proven to be fallible, causing them to question what it is exactly that they are doing wrong.Well, I can tell you now that internalizing lies about men is the only thing you are doing wrong. I have selected some of the most popular lies women like to indulge in. 

#1 All men cheat: No, that's not true. I know a lot of young men who do not, and cannot cheat. No it is not because they don't face temptation everyday, or because they have low libido. It's because of who they are as individuals. Some men would die a thousand deaths if they succumbed to the temptation of sending a flirty text in response to the object of their temptation. Cheating boils down to integrity, and truly, not many people have integrity these days, but find a man who does, and you will never again utter this lie to yourself. 

#2 Men are like babies: Yes, I have heard this so many times, and at some point, I believed it. But my tolerance for adult babies is so low, it didn't take long for me to dismiss this. Where women got this ideology from is still beyond me. Everyday, I see articles from married women advising young unmarried ladies to treat their men like babies, and I just shake my head in despair. Men are not babies! Boys are babies. You are in the relationship as a partner, not a mother, so start acting your part! Stop excusing his wrongs by telling yourself he's like a baby. No he's not. He's only taking advantage of the fact that you think he is. 

#3 No man is single: Really? This one makes me want to weep. I don't know if this was proposed as a way to excuse cheating husbands, or the women who are willing to be accomplices to their philandering ways, but the truth is that it's a lie. You do not have to share or steal as you might have been told. There are awesome single men out there searching for their soulmates. Stop indulging the men who are taken, and you will make room for the right men to find you. 

#4 Men want women who agree with everything they do: This is not true; as a matter of fact, this might be the deal breaker. Yes, some immature and insecure men want this so badly, it is the only assurance of their dominance in the relationship, but really, why on earth would you want to be with such a man? You need a mature man who is secure in himself, not a whimpering little boy who thinks you are tied to his cart and must go in the same direction as him. Yes, those mature men exist. Delete these lies, and you will find yourself attracting them. The truth is that a man will relate with you based on how you present yourself. If you act like a dummy, well, guess what? You will be treated as one.

#5 Men prefer stability to excitement: This is not really a lie; let's say it is a bit of a tilted fact. Many men want a balance between stability and excitement. Many relationships die because women become more stable and less exciting. On the other hand, mature men become worried when all the relationship offers is excitement without stability. You need to understand being a stable and reliable partner should not in anyway affect your ability to be spontaneous, romantic, and perhaps even kinky. 

#6 Men need women to prove they are wife material: Any man who is asking you to prove this has one of two missions - to abuse and break you, or not marry you at all. Men don't need you to prove to them that you are wife material so stop it! Be yourself. Are you lazy when it comes to house chores? The man who loves you enough will hire a helper. That is just the cold hard truth. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. You are more than good enough for a man who truly wants to be with you, even if you are not the conventional 'wife material'. 

Do share your thoughts. XOXO


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