Monday, November 9, 2015

"Not Your Responsibility"

Just when I think I have seen or heard it all, something or someone comes along and shatters that illusion. I sometimes wonder if proclaiming I have seen it all is a dare to the universe to prove me wrong. In 2015, in this day and age, I have discovered there are James and Janet Bonds in marriages and even relationships whose courses are yet to be determined. Sometimes I feel it's an exaggeration, but personal accounts of those caught in the crossfire, and even my own personal experience has revealed that there are more secret agents in relationships than there are normal 'imperfect yet emotionally balanced' individuals. Yes, I am referring to infidelity and the need you might feel to set him/her straight.

I have realized that even with the surge of self-assurance articles, increase in self-esteem and the billion and one ways to battle insecurity, many boyfriends, girlfriends, wives and husbands are out there trying to bludgeon to death anyone who dares to look at their partner. I have heard incidents of innocent people being slapped for shaking hands with married, engaged or dating men, and I have often stared in bewilderment as they recounted their experiences. Clearly, I have or heard or seen it all.

If you are one of those partners who stalk, threaten and physically assault anyone your partner comes in contact with, this post is for you. 

Firstly, the fact that you feel the need to follow up on every move your partner makes, or everyone he or she speaks with is a sign that you are crossing over to the dark side of insanity. Take a deep breath and assess why you are so insecure. Are you scared your partner will leave for someone else? Well, when you have been committed for a long time, that is a valid fear, but it is not enough to turn you to a lunatic. Ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen if your partner walks out the door? Will your life come to an end? Nope; I can tell you that much. Will it hurt? Of course! But you can't die. So why push yourself to insanity's door? 

It is not your responsibility to keep your spouse faithful, and keeping someone with you by instilling fear in him/her is not what love is about. Sooner or later, that person will overcome the fear and move on anyway. And even if they are too crippled to do that, your relationship will simply function according to the makings of your imagination. What's the joy in that? If you suspect you partner of infidelity, rather have a discussion with him/her rather than going around slapping people and threatening bodily harm. Go out with your friends, have fun, and if your partner is truly an infidel that won't quit, walk away. Preserve yourself; there is always someone better out there for you. XOXO

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