Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Can I Date 'Me'?

Everyone talks about finding the dream partner and staying hooked forever.  Most people set out with long lists of what they expect such partners to be, how they want such partners to look like and whatever else might be on the list of a person searching for the special one. When I was younger, I remember I had mine too; I was on a search for a man that would tower above my 5”9 self, well groomed and mannered with all the right academic qualifications and more (I nursed the thought of walking down the aisle with someone in the marine or aviation with all the glamour that comes with their weddings). I just wanted someone I could show off, I was looking to find a prize. Several years down the line and it is funny how much of that has changed, not like I settled for what I found but in attracting who I wanted I learnt I had to turn the heat on myself. Our environment mirrors us, we get what we give.

Since almost everyone has a list of who they hope to settle down with, how often do you check yourself and agree you can date yourself. Like asking oneself the question “Can I date me?” Most times we attract what and who we are. If you have a foul personality, you will most probably attract another with same kind of personality. You cannot be hanging around the clubs and strip bars and expect to find someone with a reserved personality. You can’t possibly expect you can hook up with a Harvard graduate with your SSCE qualification (not like it can never happen but it is not commonplace). What I am trying to say is before putting yourself out there, you need to work on yourself.

So you want a God fearing fire spitting husband and your spiritual life is yet to take a leap, stop dreaming sis. You’re probably too lazy when it comes to improving your spiritual life, getting that brother you desire is directly proportional to you working on yourself because it would be unfair on the brother to discover you don’t share equal zeal for the things of the spirit. To hook such brother up, it would pay you to make conscious efforts to building a better relationship with God.  That way, you are more likely to have started the foundation of a relationship that could last forever.

Everyone loves that person that stands out for all the good reasons. In all you do, strive for excellence. This might attract all sorts of people to you but it would also attract the right person. All you need do is look deeply.

Confidence is very important; insecurity can make even the finest of men feel intimidated. Our attitudes are like colognes, if one wears the right one, everyone would be interested in knowing the maker while if one wears the wrong one, it repels those around. If you are not confident about yourself, those around you will get the same vibe. You need to appreciate who you are for another to appreciate you.

We are not capable of loving another if we don’t love ourselves.  Maybe the reason you are still single is because of yourself. Do a check and ask yourself if you can date yourself. If you are in the wrong and you make necessary amends, the next date you go on might just be with your soul mate.


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