Monday, March 31, 2014

Money- The Factor That Ruins Many Relationships

"Money is not everything". I smile everytime I hear that statement, not because I don't angry but because of the psychological 'program' attached to that statement when most people say it. 

Perhaps it's a cultural thing or better yet, a geographical ideology that money and love do not go together. If he's too rich, the love is not real; he must be abusive, a cheater and basically worse than the devil himself. If he is poor, he must be the best man on earth- full of affection and willing to do whatever his woman asks of him, even if it includes licking the dust from her toes. How wrong are we?! 

Unfortunately, I know a number of people that went with the above-mentioned analysis and ended up in dissatisfying unions that are headed for the rocks. Why? Because money is important!

I don't understand why for some reason, many christians do not like to put their finances in check before they get married. The statement "God will provide" is so common with us. While that is true in every way, we need to make decisions that are sensible (for lack of a better word). 
A pastor once said to me "Many women, in their quest to get married will not discuss financial issues with their spouses to avoid coming across as gold diggers". I had to agree because I had friends in that exact boat.

I once had the privilege of attending a relationship seminar and something the pastor said struck me. He said "Young men, don't get married if you can't provide for your family! And ladies don't marry a man that can't provide for you." Why? It is the husband's job as the head of the family to be the provider and the protector. When God made Adam and Eve, he didn't just create Adam, leave him by the roadside and well, told him to do whatever he pleases. On the contrary, God gave him a job - to look after the garden of Eden? What was his wage? A home in the garden and an endless supply of food, because God knew that they had to have somewhere to lay their heads and food to fill their stomachs.

These days, money is one of the leading causes of divorce; wives mistreat their husbands because they make more money, husbands refuse to give their housewives money for their upkeep, couples fight over who the responsibility of paying the mortgage and other bills should fall on....the list goes on. We all know love doesn't pay the rent or the price of bread at the grocery store. Marriages need money to survive.

I'll echo the advice I heard at the seminar- "Ladies, forever is a long time. If a man can't provide your basic needs in marriage, it is only a matter of time before you start to succumb to unbecoming behaviours to get what you need. Men, don't get married if you are not in a position to financially support the basic needs of your family. No one is asking you to show up with trucks of millions but firstly, a steady income will go a long way. Don't expect you will 'wing it' as time goes on. That hardly ever works! Be financially strong, not so you can lord it over your wife but because God created you to be a provider in the home and a protector. 

God bless you all xoxo

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