Monday, March 24, 2014

Dear absent parents, society needs you

Are you reading the title of this post and raising youir eyebrows? 'What does she mean by the role absent parents play? They are absent for goodness' sake!' Yes I know that but absent or not, these parents are playing a major role in how society is evolving.

It is not uncommon to find single mothers these days; if anything at all, being a single mother is tending towards a fashionable trend everyone wants to take part in. Many young ladies are caught in the single mother web, not because the father of their child passed away in a fatal accident; on the contrary, he's somewhere at the other end of the same city or in a different state, simply living his life with no inclination whatsoever to be a part of his child's life. Just like there are single mothers, there are single fathers too; fathers that have had the unfortunate experience of impregnating the 'wrong girl' who in the end decides motherhood is not her cup of tea and would rather go back to the good old days when she did not have a child whining on her back.

What many absent parents don't know is that they are shaping their next generation; when I was younger, my elder sister always said to me "little raindrops make a mighty ocean." As a child, I related that statement soley to water and how little rain drops became floods in our neighbourhood; but now that I am all grown, I interpreted that statement to mean  little contributions (positive or negative), given in by many, can have huge impacts! I think these days, many parents fail to realize they are the mirrors through which their children first see the world. The chances of your child emulating your lifestyle is higher than you may think!

Single mothers are now everywhere; like I said earlier, the trend is beginning to border on fashionable. Sometimes, I hear ladies say "My mother was a single mother; I can be one too. It's no big deal." HUH???!! Of course it is a big deal! Raising a son who has no good father figure to emulate or a daughter who believes it's ok to have a child out of wedlock and just keep dating whoever comes her way is not the way society should be groomed.

Absent fathers or mothers are raising the next generation to believe it's ok to not be a part of your child's life! Yes, you can create this beautiful miracle but you don't have to be there to nurture it. It's ok to avoid commitment at all costs; it's ok to believe you can create a mess and someone else will clean it up. The fear of responsibility is constantly growing amongst youth today; the fear of commitment, incredibly low self-esteem due to lack of love from a father or mother figure and above all the 'I can do whatever I please and not deal with the consequences' attitude is on the rise!

Dear absent fathers and mothers, it's time to look back to your 'miracles' and play your role in their lives. You may not live together, you may not see each other everyday of the week but take up your role as a parent and show your child the love he or she deserves! Point them in the right direction, make them realize that you made a mistake and it's definitely not ok for them to head down the same path! Dare your child to be different from you and above all, prove you are different from the former you who walked away from your responsibilities. This is a plea; society needs your help to re-program the youth of today who are hell bent on trodding the same path you walked. Society needs your positive contributions to reshape it's already deformed structure. It is sad that marriage is now a joke and divorce is a word uttered without even a cringe. Everyone wants to be alone; "my dad walked away from my mum, so can I" "My mum raised me all by herself, I intend to do the same."

It's time for you to make them know, that's not the way God intended it to be. xoxo

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