Friday, March 7, 2014

On the case of an abusive partner

Today is mental health day for me; decided to take the day off in order to enjoy a long weekend. Normally, on these rare mental health days, I hardly have anything to do except eat, sleep and maybe catch up on episodes of 'Come dine with me'. However, Oscar's Pistorius' trial is being televised and I've been paying rapt attention. In case you don't know, Oscar is being tried for murdering his model girlfriend after what his neighbours described as fighting and argument noises from his apartment.

The testimony of his ex-girlfriend is what really caught my attention today and made me ask myself yet again "why?"

Why do women stay in abusive relationships? Why is it deemed ok for your boyfriend or husband to yell at you when he's angry? Is anger an excuse for misconduct? Having heard her testimony about how he continuously yelled at her, her friends and even her sister whenever he was angry, I couldn't help but wonder about the many young ladies out there enduring these acts of misconduct, preparing to walk down the aisle with a man they know has clearly not been tamed by God's spirit.

I am not disputing the fact that people get angry; of course we all do! It's a human emotion but how we express our anger draws a thin line between a mature God-filled individual and an individual that has no idea that he has a heavenly father, not to mention learning at that father's feet.

To all you ladies and young men out there enduring abuse in the form of angry misconducts, know today that it will only get worse except your partner decides to change. People that are given to angry fits will slowly begin to exhibit violence. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is yelling at you like you're a child whenever you have a disagreement, marrying him or her won't change anything! Rather be prepared for the first slap, punch, kick and many others that will follow!

A friend of mine recently told me her boyfriend often throws his phone at the wall whenever he's angry at other people. I may be mistaken but she didn't seem the least bothered that he expressed his anger in such a violent manner. All I could think about as she spoke was the possible progression of his violence. What would he do if he got angry with her? Would he hit her head against the wall too?

There are signs to look out for even if these signs are not directed at you. If your partner can't manage his anger towards other people, don't consider yourself different from them! It's only a matter of time before he or she gives you double the trouble!

Abuse comes in many forms and most times comes with an array of 'sensible excuses'. Don't make excuses for anyone's mistreatment of you. You are worth more than you can ever imagine in the hands of the Father! Don't settle for immaturity or anger tantrums. 

Stay blessed. Xoxo

1 comment:

  1. I settled.. I want out.. he said I caused d beating because I wasn't affectionate.. I'm being talked 2 like a child for every mistake.. I'm walking on eggshells arnd him, d verbal insults.. but my wedding sponsors keep saying hide wen it starts u can imagine... I jst want to go away in peace.. all I hear is be more submissive. I think is until I behave like a slave before dey notice that I'm trying.. its like I cant do anything right.. I've considered suicide but I pity my mother.. I ran home b4 wen he tried to choke me n he threatened me, but dey brought me back.. I hv a baby, d last beating I ws even breastfeeding, I had 2 bend and cover her.. his parents said I need a shop n a car.. but I'm sure that is not what I need. I need peace n its not in my house


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