Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Marriage Formula We All Got Wrong (2)

"Wives submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord; for the husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church"...."Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her".

I call those two instructions the marriage formula; it encompasses a whole lot of things ranging from unconditional love to respect in every way. In my last post, I dealt with the submission issue as it relates to wives but in this post, I want to speak to the men. Yes, women should submit but many men seem to have misunderstood the meaning of submission. 

Many men believe submission by their wives mean the dynamics of marriage should be that of a master-servant relationship. How wrong are they?! Submission doesn't mean your wife is a robot or a piece of appliance installed in your home, set to do whatever you say whenever you say it. She is a woman, a human, someone you ought to love unconditionally. I hear many men, in the church complaining about their wives having an opiniomn on matters that pertain to the family or getting upset when they make life-changing decisions without consulting her; my question to them is always "what do you expect?" As much as a man is the head of the family, it does not mean he has to discard all forms of respect for his wife. It doesn't mean he can take decisions without discussing with her. He is the head, yes! but also remember that God created woman to be a helper, and a partner! She wasn't created from the feet to be trampled upon or from the head to lord her opinion over her husband; she was created from man's side to be his helper, his partner, someone he can nurture and love just like he loves himself! Sometimes, I wonder why so many married men have no respect for their wives. They chase other skirts and are not in any way bothered if the Mrs find out. So sad because she was createdto help you, yet you act like you are the one doing her a favour. Our society definitely needs psychological restructuring and spiritual cleansing.

The second issue with the part of the formula that applies to husbands comes in form of a question; "how many men these days are worth submitting to?"

An old lady once said to me "Never in history have I heard of or seen so many lazy young men!" These days, women struggle to submit because many men lack the qualities of a leader. Can I jump into a car with a man that doesn't know where he's heading and doesn't have a GPS device to help? NO! Because no matter how much I'd love to spend time with him, I don't want to get lost. The same applies in our world today; many men are content with either taking the easy way out to achieve shortlived success or they are content with taking the back seat while the woman breaks her back to keep the family intact; abuse is on the rise in society today; many men pummel their wives till some of them slip into coma because they are too immature to control their temper tantrums! And of course many men cheat and say "It's all part of being a man". It is very sad that these same men expect women that have preserved themselves, worked hard to achieve their goals and are still working hard to reach greater heights to submit in marriage! How will that work?

Dear young men, it is time to take a look at yourselves; many of you are scared of commitment and would rather go around hurting the women that care about you. Many of you believe hitting a woman will make her realize you are the head of the family; raining abuses on her and reminding everyday of how you are doing her a favour by being with her. How does any of this describe love?

"Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church"- unconditionally, respectfully, without abuse, without cheating or playing her for a fool, preserving her dignity even in her absence by letting everyone know she is the queen of your heart. 

It is such an easy formula to make marriages work, yet divorces amongst christians are on the rise everyday. I pray God touches the marriages on the verge of breaking and heal the hearts that have been broken and trampled on in marriage. xoxo

1 comment:

  1. Loved both parts. I agree with everything and l hope my marriage will be as The Lord intended it to be.


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