The service had started an hour before I entered but I cat
walked in like the church should be glad I was gracing them with my presence. After
all, I was wearing the dress I just bought and my shoes were to die for. I made
calculations in my head of how many compliments I would get at the end of the
service and my feigned surprise like I didn’t know I looked that stunning. I was
just going to stay the next 45 minutes probably chatting on my phone and
catching up on whatever gist I might have missed on the social media while
waiting for the service to end. It had suddenly become the norm after my
supposed life changing altar call. Church services were just for socializing.
I couldn’t explain it, I seemed to have devoured all the
parts of the bible. Nothing fascinated me anymore. I could recite my everyday prayers
in my sleep, it started from thanksgiving to prayer for forgiveness, then I ask
for whatever I want and pray to make heaven. I had sunk so deep into this
monotony and everything had just become so routinely. I knew I had to find a
way out of the block. Every message sounded the same to me. I was the type of
Christian I despised. Neither here nor there. Not bad enough for some kind of
sins but not Christian enough to take the right stand.
You know how this story goes, there are no half ways, and
one is either in or out.I was slowly treading the path that might lead to my destruction.
I knew I had to make a change and the void I felt needed to
be filled. I started from acknowledging the situation. I recognized how self-conscious
I had become, forgetting that I was not my own. I needed a fresh dose of anointing
and I was ready to be broken and pieced together again. A convention was slated
for a week and I resolved to attend every single service with an open mind. I had
a lot to learn and I needed something to minister to me and wheel me towards
that turning point again. This time I hoped to hold on to that beauty of the fullness
the Holy Spirit brings.
Songs are a big part of my life. I even hum soundtracks to
my day to day activities, so it is no surprise that I was finally redeemed
through music. The choir came alive on the first day of the convention singing Tye
Tribbett’s ‘Bless the Lord’. An awakening occurred inside of me, it was like a
release of fresh anointing. I broke down and cried, I was glad because I could
feel the fire that I thought was burnt out still burning. God didn’t go anywhere,
I was the one that stopped being in touch.I stopped appreciating the freshness in every message, I thought i had heard it all.
I share this now because for some weird reason I gave a
speech in the dream I had last night about the turning point in my life. I know
this might just change someone else’s life too.
Are you where I used to be? Do you feel the need to be
excited in the Spirit again? Understand that one might slip atimes and you need
to take conscious steps into making that change before you get sucked into the
life you escaped from. You need to always be on guard, the enemy is lurking in
the dark just waiting for you to slip. Stay alert soldier. God loves you too much to leave you stuck in a ditch. He is that voice of reason that silently speaks when you are left alone with your thoughts. Hear him and Genuinely seek him. Don't be satisfied with being dissatisfied. Find that connection again.
Have a great week.
Photo Credit:redletterchristians.org
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