Monday, July 20, 2015

Relationship 101: Three Basic Social Media RulesTo Live By.

How many of you are guilty of looking up someone you just met on the social media? Have you ever gone through their profiles to kind of get an idea of who they are and what they love doing? You haven’t? Well, I used to and did I discover a lot? (Story for another post I tell you)
 Do you ever find yourself years deep into your cousin’s boyfriend’s sister’s page and you start to feel you might need no introduction when you finally meet such person?
No lies the social media really does blur the line and there are times we are tempted to feel we know strangers through feeding on their pictures and posts. I read an interesting Instagram bio recently, it read: you don’t know me, you know my Instagram. Really interesting right?
The allure of the social media is unending, from the man that wants to brag about his latest auto mobile to the lady that wants to show off her hot new love or the guy that wants to rant about his cheating girlfriend. However way we act, we all seem to leave a piece of ourselves for everyone to see (and perhaps feast on).
Relationships are not without their natural drama but the social media seems to add a new twist, we find out we might have found it easier to forgive a lover that erred had we not shared the details on the social media or had we not reconnected with that old flame from school. We find we might now have to consider the number of people that might think we sold ourselves cheap.
Someone once said that our parents found it easier to stick together because they didn’t have hundreds of people following them and liking their pictures when things were tough in their marriages and relationships. They didn’t have a choice but to work through their issues together. I agree with this too.

Premised on this, it is important to understand there are certain rules one should live by to have a happier and less dramatic relationship/marriage in this social media age.

Be sensitive: Not everyone is as liberal minded as Kanye West. You cannot be posting nude or semi nude pictures and still be wondering why your husband/wife is mad at you. There is a reason why products are kept in packages. You are not just disrespecting your partner, you are also sending the wrong message. I watched a show when one of those in the audience expressed her dissatisfaction over her husband’s social media behavior. Turns out he has been hitting the gym and he felt the need to share semi-nude pictures. The wife said his comment section is always of different women complimenting his ‘looks’ and it makes her really uncomfortable. For God and sanity sake, keep the pictures decent.  

Draw the line: I understand how the excitement of a new man might feel and how much you want your ex to know you have gotten over him but still, you need to draw the line. You don’t want to be guilty of divulging private details that your partner might find embarrassing. There is a thin line between enjoying a good private laugh and embarrassing the person by sharing the details with the public.  I read a story of a Hollywood couple that were going through tough times in their relationship and finally div. The last straw was when the lady shared an unflattering picture of her partner while he was sleeping.  Be discreet.


Don’t update your status while mad: Ignore that rush you feel. That need to spill out your mind and diss your partner might come back to haunt you. It is a relationship between two people , everyone doesn’t have to know you are mad at your partner for not taking out the trash. There are better ways to deal with it.Take a stroll or hit the gym, do whatever, just don’t vent it out to every Dick, Jane and Harry that doesn’t need to know your business.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't acknowledge your relationship or share some great moments with your numerous online friends. But just before you press send,ask yourself the importance of what you are sharing. Does it violate privacy, security or is it very spiteful and demeaning? Don't air your dirty laundry outside. Understand that a lot can go wrong by just one thoughtless update.
Stay safe.

Photo Credit: www.adweek.com

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