Thursday, July 9, 2015

8 Things You Should Do To Avoid An Affair

Having an affair
There are many things I romanticized in my head. One of such things was being or getting married to a uniformed person. I felt it was really cool how someone who might have otherwise gone unnoticed gets to command lots of respect just because of what he/she’s wearing. That image has been marred so many times and one of such times was yesterday.

A police truck rammed into my car from behind and just sped away. I was so mad at the carelessness and irresponsibility displayed that I tried to get the plate number of the truck but then I needed not to be told that that was going to be a major waste of time. There have been several other cases and one would wonder if they have no code of conduct. They just keep going from bad to worse.

Forgive my rant, I have just been thinking of all the numerous rules and regulations we have and how we utterly disregard them. It's just same way with relationships and the presumed moral codes. People have affairs like it's some fad. It suddenly doesn't matter that we took vows and wear rings as a symbol of our love and dedication. Much as my faith in the uniformed jobs have diminished , I still refuse to follow the stereotypes. I just think that like everyone , they need to be reminded that there are rules to live by, just like marriages and relationships.

I was browsing the web some time ago when I stumbled on a list that summarizes the marital moral code in eight points. It was so on point that I thought it would be a good thing to share with you.
1. Avoid emotional intimacy with potentially attractive people. Do not try to help unhappy people who want to pour out their hearts to you. If someone begins confiding in you about their troubled relationship, suggest counseling and drop the subject.

2. Protect the privacy of your marriage. Do not discuss intimate relationship issues with opposite-sex friends. Do not mention relationship problems to anyone who dislikes your spouse or is anti-marriage. Do not discuss issues that would embarrass your spouse or make them look bad to someone else. Remember that relationship issues are best discussed with your spouse or in counseling.

3. Stay out of situations that could lead to trouble. Never meet alone (for drinks, dinner, or any other reason) with a potentially attractive person at the hotel where one of you is staying, not even in the bar or other public areas. Do not meet them anyplace where there is privacy and a bed or couch, such as their apartment or their office after hours. When you are at conferences or out of town meetings have dinner and drinks in groups rather than one-on-one. Do not do anything with a potentially attractive person that could be construed as a date.

4. Do not initiate flirting. If someone starts flirting with you, don’t flirt back. If necessary, end the conversation and talk to someone else instead. Avoid one-on-one conversations with someone you already find sexually attractive (even standing up in a social situation such as a party or conference).

5. Avoid physical contact that can be misconstrued or that can lead to sexual attraction. Greeting kisses should be on the cheek (or in the air) rather than the lips, and hugs should not be prolonged. Do not put your arm around their waist or on their knee, pat them on the butt, hold hands, massage their shoulders, etc. If someone is trying to get overly physical with you, make it clear that this is unacceptable.

6. Do not be romantic, flirtatious, suggestive or sexy with anyone via email, texting, Facebook, or other online venues. If someone other than your spouse sends you a flirtatious or sexy message, delete it and do not respond.

7. Do not allow old flames back into your life. If you know that a former crush or lover will be at a business event, invite your spouse to attend with you. If this is not possible, avoid all unnecessary contact with the person in question. Any contact from an old flame or any encounters (such as running into them by chance or seeing them at an event) should be disclosed to the spouse.

8. In general, follow three basic rules. (a) Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your spouse to do. (b) Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do if your spouse were present. (c) Walk away from temptation, not toward it.

Do you have additional tips? Kindly share.

Note: Tips gotten via

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