Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Are You With the Unqualified Partner?

The tales of woes I hear when people speak of their unqualified partners have led me to write this post. More often that not, when I ask people about their spouses, they talk about all the amazing qualities their partner has, how great he or she is at whatever he or she does, and how lucky they are to have found love in such a wonderful person. Well, that's usually at the beginning of the relationship. As the honeymoon phase wears off, different tales begin to emerge. As expected, people discover their partners are far from perfection and depending on their level of maturity, start to complain or start to comprehend the imperfections of their imperfect partner. At the end of the day, no one is perfect. But what happens when you find yourself in a relationship with an unqualified partner?


These days, I meet women and men alike who tell me about how unqualified their partners are. I am not referring to academic qualifications here so please, excuse the pun. What I am referring to is standard. Many of these individuals go and on about how their partners do not measure up to their standards or expectations, but for the sake of how good they are as individuals, it would be cruel to break such wonderful hearts and walk away. So instead of the typical loving relationship, what these people do is try to exert their supremacy over their 'unqualified' partners. They talk down to them, they remind them every chance they get of the fact that they can always find someone better and of course they try to enforce their standards of living on the poor souls. 

Why stay with a partner who does not measure up to your desires or expectations? Why cause so much pain for both yourself and your partner? The truth is when one person is unhappy in a relationship, there is an imbalance. The relationship on one end becomes a necessary evil that must be fought through tolerance, and on the other end, the other individual keeps giving more and more, with the thought that he or she is not giving enough, hence the unhappiness. 

Spare yourself and the poor soul with you the strain, will you? To stay with someone you believe 100% or even 80% is not good enough for you is a recipe for disaster! And it definitely delivers a well-cooked meal of disaster every time! Have you watched deadly affairs on Investigation Discovery or other mind boggling shows like "who on earth did I marry?" Need I say more?

It is cruel and selfish to be with an individual who you'd trade up for someone else should the opportunity arise. it is cruel to have someone act their part when you are busy screening other people for their role! Being with someone out of pity never ends well for either or both parties! If you believe that your partner is unqualified, the best thing you can do is leave! Yes, take your bags, shoes, socks and everything you think you might need and walk away. Give that person you feel almost nothing for a chance to find love with someone who truly cares for them. XOXO

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