Saturday, May 2, 2015

Getting Over An Ex

Love is a sweet thing. Giving one’s heart out to another and allowing that person see all of one’s vulnerabilities is a leap of faith. One might land in smelly murky waters with the stench and stain hard to wash away or one might fortunately have a beautiful landing. However way it might turn out, love is a risk worth taking. There are not many things that are more pleasurable than the feeling of being loved back by the one one loves.

Image result for Getting over an exSome really great relationships have been known to end despite the fact that it was really promising. The end of such relationships can bring about lots of negativity. Remember heartbreaks are no respecters of character or background. It has nothing to do with how softly you tread or how beautiful you look. Many emotions will get misinterpreted as the main thing and someone always suffers the brunt. If you understand how this works, you might not be too hard on yourself but if you think it is something you did wrong when it is just the nature of things, it might be hard for you to let go and move on.

There are always lessons to learn from everything we encounter. Our primary goal in life should always be how to be better persons than who we already are. Our conscience are great guides so if one thinks whatever happened in one’s previous relationship was due to one’s gross indiscretion or awful mannerisms, then amendments should be made. However, it doesn’t help over thinking things and refusing to move on, especially when your partner has.

Bear the following in mind:

Deal with whatever baggage you might have before getting into another relationship: If you think it is something you did wrong, then get a grip and work on yourself. It is not the time to get into the next available arms, you need to reflect on what happened and truly heal from whatever hurt or anger you feel before moving on to another relationship.

Remember you are your own biggest cheerleader: it is not the time for you to explore every flavor of ice-cream or check out every new pastry your favourite restaurant is serving, rather you should invest your time in things that would really make you happy. You owe it to yourself to look out for yourself. If you don’t give yourself that good loving, how would someone else be able to?  Remind yourself how much fun God had creating you. You are special and you should walk around with that knowing.

Engage in new ventures: Go out, make friends. Hang out with friends, travel to some place new, just don’t sit down and wallow in self-pity.Staying in the house alone will only keep bringing back memories that are better forgotten.

Stop stalking their social media pages: the social media makes break ups even harder to admit with your ex being in your face with every update. It is almost hard to ignore all the ‘happy’ pictures they post. If you can’t help but resent how well your ex is doing, unfriend them, mute notifications from their pages, just try and avoid what might bring back memories that are better forgotten. At least, till you are in a place where you can deal with it.

Stop judging everyone you meet based on your last experience: After you might have completed your healing process and you are ready to mingle again, be open minded. Everyone is different, the fact that your ex and you were incompatible doesn’t stop you from giving someone else the chance. If you never let them, you’d never know.

Have you ever been in a relationship that ended so badly with you still feeling attached to the other person? How did you get through it? Please share.


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