Thursday, August 29, 2013

Sexual Abuse: Roles parents need to play

He watched as she filled one jar after another with moist sand from the seashore, she had very scanty dressing on, He could tell she was happy. Her hair was held together in a loose bun and the sun shinning on her skin made her skin a dull orange. He couldn't see her face but he imagined it’s one beautifully and artistically sculptured. The sea waves surged forward and she didn't flinch, he got the vibe she comes there often and eventhough she was a child, he felt a stir in his crouch. He desires her like he does the rest and like the rest he is going to have and defile her. Smiling with the side of his lips, he approached her and in his mind he labelled her victim X.
She lost herself in the pure joys of the tender age unaware of the evils of the world she is in...
Forgive my long intro, I am trying to imagine what goes on in the head of a paedophile. Still can't wrap my head around it. The moral cloak of this generation is becoming more and more threadbare. I was told by a friend of a pregnant child of twelve years old and how the neighbours around blamed her of seducing the thirty year old man that got her pregnant. I am sure I am not the only one that sees the ridiculousness in this situation.
Much as I agree there are lots of low thinking members in our society, I will like to emphasise however that as parents/ guardians we have a big role to play in keeping our kids and relatives save from these predators. The other day I was driving around town with a friend and saw this very beautiful young girl of about five years old dressed in a bum shorts and spaghetti top. I was going to comment about the time my friend commented. We both agreed the child is really pretty and is ‘curvy’ for a child. Something about the dressing didn’t look innocent. Now, I can feel some people coming down on me and asking how that kind of child is attractive enough to get raped/molested.  Child molestation is a social problem that can’t be overstressed and one needs to take extra care in raising one’s kids. Acting like these things don’t happen is just living in denial. Abuse/molestation is of different kind. In this post, the focus is on sexual abuse.
The consequence of this act can’t  be over emphasised. Not every victim of sexual abuse rises above it. They grow into adults with trust issues, adults with low sense of morals; just to mention a few.
For the sake of our readers, I highlighted some points that could guide against one’s child getting molested:
·         Check into the background of whomever one wants to hire as a caregiver.
·         Teach the kids the basics about the sexual organs and how it is not right for anyone’s hand/object to be allowed to linger there
·         Encourage them to be outspoken about things that happen around them and to them.
·         Dress decently for kids (this is objective),but  forgive my paranoia.
·         Try to provide most of their needs so they don’t get enticed by materials
·         Above all, one needs to pray about it ‘cause only the spirit can reveal what is hidden to the flesh.
There is no water-tight way to keep these kids away from evil, we can only try, we should always remember we are foster parents and so we should always commit them in God’s hands. Cases of abuse should also be promptly reported no matter who the abuser is, family or not.
Thanks for reading through, I would love to read your thoughts and suggestions through the use of the comment box.


  1. I was sexually abused as a child. It took me years to learn how to deal with it. But it made me very sensitive, had years of sleepless nights, hated men and didn't trust anybody. This life trauma has made me uncertain about having children of my on and had caused me to be very mindful and overly protective of my young nieces and nephews. Talking to them helps a lot, but it has to be on a constant basis and a whole lot of praying...I've come to learn that Only God can protect and keep your family and that he has a plan even if you have suffered abuse of any form. Jade Green

  2. Thanks for sharing Jade, May the mercies of the Lord never leave you. I'd share a personal story about my abuse sometime. I can identify with your fears, stay strong sis. God bless.


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