Friday, August 23, 2013

The Language of Sex: Experiencing the Beauty of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

Feature From the book: Is sex keeping your relationship alive? Or better yet, is your relationship keeping your sex life alive?

"The best sex of your life starts in your heart, not in your head or between your legs." Sex is the result of building upon a secure loving relationship. "Sexual problems are indicative of greater issues."

  • Think about your relationship with your spouse. Do you:
  • Consider your husband/wife to be extremely important?
  • Value your spouse's thoughts?
  • Have you kept your commitment to the relationship since your marriage? Sexually? Emotionally?
  • Do you speak derisively about your spouse when he/she is present? When absent?
  • Unresolved conflicts about work, money, friends, etc..lead to a lack of security and intimacy in marriage. Dr. Smalley believes that security must be nurtured within the relationship.
  • Dr. Smalley's Top Tips on Growing Security Within Marriage:
  • Guard your spouse's heart: Don't go to bed angry at each other. Commit to this, if possible, at the beginning of your marriage. You'll never need to sleep on the couch or leave the home.
  • Create boundaries: Form a union between you and your spouse, that cannot be separated by anything or anyone. This includes old girlfriends, addictions, and parents.
  • Don't use sex as a weapon or a reward: Do you have a headache tonight? Once in awhile, that's ok. Every time your spouse wants to have sex? That's a no-no. Do not attempt to control your marriage or spouse with sex. Sex is for both the husband's and wife's mutual enjoyment.
  • Commit sexually to your spouse for life: Keep sex completely within the bounds of your marriage: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
  • Enjoy make-up sex by practicing the five-minute rule: Take a five-minute break after an argument. Listen more, speak less, anger slowly.

Today it's easy to just dump the marriage when difficulties arise, looking elsewhere for happiness. But relationships rarely improve with a change of partners. Instead, both men and women should spend a little more time investing in an awareness of their spouses' needs, desires, and uniqueness. Your spouse is the person you chose to love, honor, and commit to. The Language of Sex, a must read for every marriage, will certainly help couples resolve issues, leading to greater intimacy within the marriage.
About the authors : Gary Smalley, best-selling author of The Language of Love (Angel Award Winner), The Blessing and The Two Sides of Love (Gold Medallion Award Winners), is president and founder of the Smalley Relationship Center. His books have sold over six million copies.

Ted Cunningham is the pastor of Woodland Hills community Church in Branson, Missouri, which received a Purpose Driven Church Health Award in 2006. Ted is a speaker with the Smalley Relationship Center.

*Strongly recommend for anyone thinking about getting married to read before wedding.
Mom Refuses Chemo to Save Her Unborn Child This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. – 1 John 3:16 A loving mother who was fighting an aggressive form of cancer refused chemotherapy to save her unborn daughter. Stacie Crimm survived long enough to deliver her 2-pound, 1-ounce daughter Dottie Mae, and hold the baby in her arms just once before she passed away. This is a powerful story of a mother’s love and her ultimate sacrifice so her daughter could know our world.

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