Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Do You Match Up to Your Expectations in a Partner?

I have made an interesting discovery recently: many of us have very high expectations in terms of the people we would like to date, court and eventually marry. We often have a list in our heads of what stage of life our prospective partners ought to be when we meet them, and we are hardly ever lenient with our expectations. There are superficial features we often look out for such as beauty or height, or even body structure, but those are not the qualities I am focusing on in this post. 

Many of us desire success, and that is not a bad thing in any way. What I have a problem with is that we desire success in our prospective partners, but are not willing, or should I rather say too lazy to take a step in the direction of our own personal success. This is very common amongst young ladies today, and surprisingly some young men. I often see ladies writing status updates like 'God bless my future husband so I can wear the fragrance of his success'. The fragrance of his success? Why aren't you praying for your own success too? why are we content to sit around and wait for a successful person to come and sweep us off our feet? Why are we so complacent about our lives, we do not realize that we do not match up to what we expect in others?

I have come to the realization that it rarely happens that a successful, well-learned, secure and mature man would want to be with a woman who has not done anything to improve herself in any way. Same goes for a well-learned, strong and intelligent woman. It may be adorable to your friends if you are childish and loud, with no drive for success, but it will not take you far. Many women meet 'prince charming' once in a blue moon, and are immediately swept off their feet because he ticks all their boxes, but they forget to ask if they tick any of his boxes. 

If you have certain expectations in your prospective partner, then you need to make yourself into a person that person would be interested in, get it? You can't sit around, drifting in and out of university on the same degree for eight years, and expect a CEO to take you seriously (not that having a CEO as a partner should be an expectation, but you know, let's use that title for description sake). These days, no one wants a woman they have to carry and push simply because she lacks personal motivation. The same way no sane woman wants a man who just lazes around and waits on her to bring home the bacon. 

If you really want a certain kind of partner, then prepare yourself emotionally, psychologically, intellectually, and in every other way you can think of! Stop sitting around hoping to be loved 'just the way you are'. The way you are does not match up to their own expectations, so they will keep disappearing on you. If you want a high achiever, have some achievements strapped to your belt too! Have some dreams and visions stamped on your forehead (not literally), own your desire for success, improve your intellectual capabilities, and soon you will see that you will not only attract the partner you desire, but you'll be able to keep him/her too. XOXO

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