Monday, March 2, 2015

Five Basic Things You Need To Know To Help Your Relationship Grow

Happy New Month everyone and I ask again, where are you with those resolutions? I have noticed we all work better when we find someone that reminds us of our goals especially when we are sleeping on it. So, let’s assume I am that alarm clock that keeps reminding you of the things you need to do. You made those resolutions for a reason, make it happen.

To today’s post, I was having a conversation with a friend and we were discussing about relationships generally. We talked about the beauty of seeing people in love and compared it to the switch when they suddenly can’t stand to breathe the air around themselves anymore. We both agreed some relationships could have been saved if more care was taken. A tree is not felled by one strike, it takes continuous striking for it to be felled.

We all have our individual identities separate from whatever relationship we might be in and this informs some decisions we take. Whatever we do, to keep that relationship growing stronger, we need to bear the following in mind:

Image result for strong relationshipIt is not a competition. Love doesn’t have to come with so much strive. If you miss him/her, pick the phone and call. If you don’t feel so sure about where you stand or you feel starved of affection, call your partner’s attention to it. At times, it is just an oversight and things change soon as the guilty partner is made aware of the effect of his/her actions/inactions. However if he/she doesn’t change, then keep walking. You need not stay stuck in a relationship that is heading nowhere. If your mind tells you it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. Bear in mind that it really doesn’t matter who calls or sends messages first, long as the feeling is mutual.

Sorry is not just a word, it is an action. The acknowledgement of doing a wrong and the conscious effort towards righting the wrong is very necessary in building a strong relationship. It is important to say it as it is to act it. There have been times that I have been really livid that all that was needed to calm me was a well said Sorry. I used well said because some people sound even more insincere when they use the word. We are not perfect beings so hurting one another can’t be avoided but in order to have a healthy relationship, we need to acknowledge the hurt we caused and not feel too proud to say Sorry. Pride has no place in your relationship. Having a healthy image of oneself is very important but letting your ego rule when sense should, is disturbing.

There are no rules against being vulnerable. Don’t be so in control of your emotions that your partner starts being unsure. Be trusting enough to let them in that is how great relationships thrive. If she doesn’t know you are under pressure at work, how is she going to understand your lack of interest? Sharing your problems might not solve them immediately but it relieves you of some pressure. Going through rough situations together bring couples closer. Come on, even super heroes break. You are in each other’s lives to complement yourselves.

Be sensitive: don't be so detached from your partner not to notice any change in their behavior. Let him/her feel that you truly care. Take into consideration their backgrounds and feelings before saying things. come on, there are better ways of telling your partner to work on their weight other than calling them 'fat'. You shouldn't crack insensitive jokes at their expense. All these can lead to bad blood if not well managed.

Talk about it: Communication is the most important ingredient that relationships thrive on. By all means talk every difference through. It works 85% of the time. Chances are that he doesn't even know you are mad at him or that the remark she made was rude. You need to let them know.

Don’t miss out on great things because of situations that could have been avoided. I implore you to do the right thing and fix whatever situation you might be in. It is not as bad as it seems.


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