Monday, March 30, 2015

The Importance of the Attraction Factor

I had a completely different topic in mind for today, but after an interesting discussion I had yesterday, I just had to write about this. So what's the big deal with attraction huh? Why do people spend time titivating themselves before they step out of their homes? Why do people try to put on their best behaviour when they meet a member of the opposite sex for the first time? Why do we work hard to get people we admire to feel some form of attraction towards us? Because attraction is key in any relationship or friendship. the only people you don't have to be attracted to are your family members, because you can't choose them, you just have to love them. 


I have stepped on a number of toes recently, I am beginning to wonder if I've been in a foul mood for the past couple of months. This is because so many 'good guys' have approached me and for lack of attraction, I've simply put them in the friend box and moved on. Of course, they get upset, throw tantrums or end conversations with one word responses. Being the happy-go-lucky girl I am, I don't feel bad for telling a person I am not interested because I am not attracted. 

Many of us need to understand this: attraction is the first connection that a couple must establish before they can venture into dating or courtship (whatever it is that you may wish to call it). Without attraction, chances are one partner will still have a wandering eye, while the other is trying way too hard to make things work. People say you should work hard to establish an attraction; I beg to differ. Attraction is the one connection you do not have to work hard to achieve. It should not be coerced or cajoled, it should come naturally. 

'Good guys and ladies' (I put that in quote because you can never know until you actually date them) tend to get upset when they are attracted to a person who does not share the same feeling. "But I'm a good person", they say. Attraction is not about how clean your past is, or how big your plans are. Those factors only come to play later. The first connection that should be established is attraction; and true, attraction might grow on you but you shouldn't have to put in any effort to feel it. You need to see your potential spouse and smile, not 'work up' a smile. You should feel excitement at spending time together, not roll  your eyes and dread the feeling of endurance you have to initiate. 

You should feel an attraction to your partner before you venture into a relationship. People say attraction will come with time, but the truth is that it may not, and you may find yourself walking down the aisle with someone who does not excite you or ignite any emotions within you. Don't date a person simply because other people claim he or she might be good for you, or because you feel you are running out of time or options. People who do this, often regret their decisions, cheat or simply break ties after too much has been sacrificed. Attraction is the first connection, and it makes it easier to move forward in the relationship. XOXO

1 comment:

  1. This is right on point. Attraction is the foundation upon which all the other relational factors are built on.


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